Like all of us on this weird Northeast weather day, I am watching The Ultimatum on Netflix. This show has everything: Nick Lachey (obviously), Vanessa Lachey, a hotel pool, opaque drinking cups, and 12 cast members who are so young, yet they think they know what they want.

Here are the cast ages btw:

1. Lauren Pounds (30)

2. Nate Ruggles (31)

3. Alexis Maloney (27)

4. Hunter Parr (29)

5. Rae Williams (~24)

6. Zay Wilson (25)

7. Madlyn Ballatori (25)

8. Colby Kissinger (26)

9. Jake Cunningham (27)

10. April Marie (24)

11. Shanique Imari (25)

12. Randall Griffin (27)

It's the same thing with the Bachelor, when a 23 year old cries about how hard it's been to find true love (ever since her heart was broken by her high school boyfriend) and proclaims to be ready for marriage and kids. It's hilarious to me.

And same thing again here with Ultimatum. Now, of COURSE, I understand everyone is different and has different needs and wants for their lives, but their focus on getting married and starting families doesn't seem to align with their emotional maturity. They seem like kids! Kids who think that marriage and babies will make them adults!

That said, I'm only through episode three, so maybe later on I'll be blown away with their thoughtful approaches to life's biggest questions, but so far, I'm seeing a lot of young 20-somethings who think that the "next step" needs to be marriage. (Except Maddy. That girl is a boss. So far.)

The fact that the Lacheys have found weird relevance in niche Reality TV where psychological warfare is disguised as scientific experiments proves that we are officially living in a simulation.

But, I am a trash person so I can't stop watching their convoluted torture games. Love is Blind was weird enough, but they really upped the ante with The Ultimatum.

I can't wait to see what these two evil masterminds come up with next.

Will there be a casual baby exchange next season? Maybe a house full of real people looking for love.... with one secret robot person, programmed to just straight up ruin lives? Perhaps a call back to Nick's former life, before he hosted our version of the Hunger Games, where everyone has to live in a house where the thermostat is stuck at 98 degrees.

Honestly, the sky is the limit.

What Nefarious Netflix show would YOU like to see next?

I just finished episode five and Madlyn is the STAR of this show. I can’t decide if she’s annoying, or a genius. Is she chaotic good or chaotic evil? I guess the only thing clear about Madlyn is that there is no way she should end up with Colby. The girl hates him. Which is fine! Just break up with him!

The other thing I hate and love about Mads is her affection for the booze. Girl gets hammered and I respect that. When she was drunk eating in the kitchen? Relatable.

When she rolled her eyes and made funny faces at the mid season check in dinner? Iconic.

Madlyn seems to understand that now’s her chance to really figure out if she and Colby are meant to be (they aren’t) and is just living her best life on this show.

She was very insensitive toward Shanique, but Madlyn isn’t here to make friends! She’s here to break up with Colby!

Love or hate her, she knows the assignment.

So I'm 4 episodes deep (up to the part where they're having a guys/girls night out) I don't know why April irritates me so much, but she does. Admittedly I cannot relate to her at all (although I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was around her age, I have zero desire to have kids.) I don't know if it's her over confidence (immaturity?) that Jake and her will end up together at the end of this (I'm not so sure!!) or that it seems like her ONLY desire in life is to be a wife and have kids, but I'm so tired of seeing her crying on my screen. Am I just being a cold hearted bagel??

I can barely make it through the first episode. I skipped ahead to the second episode, and I'm still struggling. I'm trying to look past a bunch of 23 year olds who want to get married to the person they've been dating for ONE YEAR but they're all so annoying. Alexis is already at Shayna levels of annoying. April saying "I don't want to be in another 3 year relationship that goes NOWHERE" at the age of 23 is hilarious. Colby crying in the bathroom because he just loves Madlyn so much... idk! Do I need to skip ahead another episode or two??

Has ANYONE seen Madlyn's instagram post......!!!! I am so shocked. Did not see that coming at all! Happy for them!

Gasping from the Rae and Zay dumpster fire in the reunion. I didn't see that fight coming! Truly still reeling from that fight. Anyone else?!