Can I Just Say
Can I Just Say
6
~ can-i-just-say ~7 months ago
Fill in the blank: BLANK isn't a personality trait

We all know someone who thinks that something they do makes up their entire personality. But that's rarely the case. Allow me to rant, please!

- NOT BEING ABLE TO FUNCTION WITHOUT COFFEE... is not a personality trait: I get it, you're tired. And it's fair if you can't function without caffeine. Get yourself a coffee! But everyone is tired because we're all just doin' our damn best in this world. You being tired / needing coffee isn't unique. I promise! That's why Starbucks is as successful as it is!

- NOT WATCHING TV... is not a personality trait: I find this one condescending because it is usually delivered as "OH, I don't own a TV... but I do read" or some type of other activity that makes TV watching seem lazy. It's not! I learn a lot from TV! And I also lose braincells watching it, but it's my brain, and I've decided that's FINE.

- NOT LIKING FRIENDS/THE OFFICE/ETC... is not a personality trait: I actually do not like Friends, either. But am I going to make my whole personality about it? (The show is interchangeable.)

- BEING LATE... is not a personality trait: If you're older than 22, and still think it's funny / cute to be the "perpetually late" person in your friend group, you need to know this — your friends hate that about you and while you're running late are talking about you behind your back. You know why I could never be the late friend?

- HAVING HOT TAKES... is not a personality trait: The great thing about opinions (especially unpopular ones) is that we all have them! But just because we CAN share them on social media doesn't mean we need to!

- BEING INTO TRUE CRIME... is not a personality trait: Blame true crime's most recent rise in the zeitgeist on this one. I think 15 years ago, if you were someone really into small, niche crime blotters across the country, this actually WOULD be rather interesting. But now, saying you like true crime at a party is like saying "I like football" at a sports bar.

- HATING NICKELBACK... is not a personality trait: It's just overdone!

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3
~ can-i-just-say ~5 months ago
I wasn’t grounded as a kid, here’s how it plays into my adult life

Happy Mother’s Day to the moms / parents / caregivers out there! 💐

Here’s a little parenting snack to nosh on this Sunday! I was thinking about my upbringing and would consider myself a pretty straight laced kid. I didn’t talk back to my parents, I’m an only child so I think you grow up with a different dynamic… at least I did. I did get into a little trouble here and there but nothing damaging or detrimental to my future. I didn’t sneak out of the house, I’d just ask to go somewhere and tell my parents where I’d be. I knew if anything was too bad, I could call my parents for help.

When I DID do things a teenager probably shouldn’t have done (gone to house parties I said were just small gatherings, drank at said parties, never drove) and my parents found out, I would never get grounded. In fact, I was never once grounded in my life!

As an adult now, I have theories on how that’s played into my relationship with authority (my therapist has more theories than me I’m sure). But mostly, it makes me brutally honest with “adults” and authority figures — for better or worse. It doesn’t make me hide things and while honesty and transparency is great, it isn’t always the best move haha.

Curious for those here, were you a kid who would get grounded? How did it shape you and your response to that “punishment.” And for those like me, how are ya now?

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