All I could think about during most of the Season 9 premiere of Vanderpump Rules is, what is Jax Taylor, aka Jason Cauchi, doing right now? What is he thinking? Is he rage texting anyone? So I flew to his Instagram and what I saw was very bleak. But to know how we got here, we have to remember where we left off.

He ended his tenure on the "show that he started with his friends" by telling Lisa Vanderpump (who actually created the show) that it was his show, and then topped it off with an embarrassing last appearance on Bravo via a Zoom reunion. That is a tough send off. And of course in true Bravolebrity fashion, he made it seem like it was his decision to quit the show when he announced his departure in a now-deleted Instagram post.

Brittany Cauchi's post is still up and reads "Although this is difficult to share, Jax and I will not be returning for another season of Vanderpump Rules. We are excited to take this time to focus on our growing family and share with you our new endeavors."

I don't know what it is but I love washed-up reality stars, especially when their firing was much deserved. I love to watch their social media accounts and see what insanity they are up to. Since Stassi Schroeder's firing, she started a new podcast with her husband Beau Clarke, because she still has a devoted fan base. Kristen Doute has her t-shirt line. But what does Jax have? He burned all his bridges and isn't exactly a beloved TV character.

So, while his closest friends were throwing premiere parties and celebrating Season 9 of Vanderpump Rules, Jax was doing what Jax does best: #Sponcon ads. And this time it's for a company "Eat To Evolve," which is advertised as "healthy, pre made meals."

There is a lot to unpack here and I'm not talking about the shitty packaging. So let's break this down.

Wow, not since Shannon Beador showcased her cream cheese filled salmon have I been this appalled by a TV dinner. Is that Jax meat is past its prime? Jax described this as his favorite dinner, a "sliced steak." He prefers this 90 second meal over the restaurants in L.A. Take that Dan Tana's!

Also, is that a dollop of garlic butter over mashed carrots? I believe so.

It's the hand movements for me, though. I really don't think I have ever seen Jax this animated in my life, not even at his own wedding. He really was giving it his all in this Instagram ad. Without those Pump Rules checks he's gotta give us his best Billy Mays!

I give him a B- for effort.

P.S. – Don't even get me started on the bats.

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