While his and Lala Kent's iconic feud might not have been about the pasta, the news that Vanderpump Rules stars James Kennedy and Raquel Leviss broke their engagement off over the weekend begs the question: was it about the nose job? After all, what other reasons could this seemingly happy couple have to publicly call off their engagement on a Sunday morning?
Despite the fact that getting sober didn't make James any less of an asshole and very much because Raquel was finally starting to speak in full sentences, it really did seem like the couple was headed for some version of marital bliss in Valley Village along with the rest of their cast mates, but alas, the duo announced on Dec. 5 that they were splitting up on Instagram. Raquel and James both posted the same photo and caption, saying, "We decided we have two different goals and made the decision to call off the engagement. We love each other very much, but we aren’t in love anymore." Again, what are these goals and, I will repeat myself... was it about the nose job?
The couple's only storyline throughout Pump Rules Season 9 so far has revolved mainly around the White Kanye's frustration with Raquel wanting her to correct what she thought was a botched nose job. Despite the fact that he was cleared of any wrongdoing by none other than Dr. Paul Nassif for "bumping" Raquel's nose after the initial surgery, James was clearly worried that any further plastic surgery would kill all of his love for his fiancé if he had to look at a bad nose for the rest of his life. He was serious, too!
So forgive me if, after hearing of their breakup, I am currently running multiple scenarios in my head that might have led to James and Raquel's breakup that aren't about a corrective nose job. Because, just like it "wasn't about the pasta," it also wasn't about the nose job, right? That is way too low, even for James Kennedy. So here are some other working theories.
It Was The Reunion
The best working theory is that something is revealed about their relationship during the Vanderpump Rules Season 9 reunion, which was taped the Friday before they announced their split. Here, we see that Raquel's nose is very much still in the same state. But did she decide she would let Lisa Vanderpump pay for her new nose? Or find out that she would have to fund it all on her own, much to James' chagrin? We might never know.
Lala & James Have Reconnected
Although Lala and Raquel have finally made amends, could the former have turned to her old BFF, James, in the wake of her breakup with Randall and something... happened?! Listen, you can't believe anything people wish into existence on Reddit, but it would be a Pump Rules fan fever dream. And a great setup to bring us into Season 10.
The Salad
James found out that Raquel also wants to share a salad with anchovies, at any and all cost. Dealbreaker?
She Finally Realized She Was Shafted
During an October 2021 Watch What Happens Live appearance, James reveals that Randall Emmett gave him a used pair of Yeezy's as an engagement present. Raquel told Andy Cohen that she received "nothing" in terms of an engagement present from her cast mates and seemed surprised to learn of the hand-me-down kicks. Look at her face when Andy asks her if she's just learning about this for the first time. This is the beginning of the end.
Shafted Again, But From Tiffany's
Listen, if I were Raquel, this is the sort of thing that would haunt me in my coupled-up dreams. After defending someone like James on national television, getting some random (I don't care where he says he got it) diamond in a Tiffany's box that Tom Sandoval had stored somewhere (I'm guessing), would be the sort of thing I would bring up in any and every future couple argument.
They Played Another Drinking Game Together
If James continues to remain sober, his and Raquel's relationship is always in danger if anyone pulls out a deck of cards after absinthe shots and Sheana's "famous enchiladas."
Raquel Is No Longer A "Bambi Eyed Bitch"
Let's all agree that Raquel is no longer the doe-eyed ditz that Lala pegged her for back in the day. Something happened, and I want it to be Raquel's empowerment even thought it will likely not be. Still, I cannot wait for a realtime, post-reunion Instagram post from Raquel explaining why she (yes, I think she did it) broke it off with DJ James Kennedy. Just please, please, also let it be even sort of about the nose job.
Images: Bravo