I'm happy for them, but I'm unhappy for us. The them being Vanderpump Rules stars James and Raquel, who got engaged at the end of last week, and the us being every Vanderpump Rules fan who will now need to live through another season of the show most likely revolving around a wedding.

The announcement came via a very confusing Coachella-themed proposal called "Rachella." (Shouldn't it be Raquella? Do we expect anything more from them? Does it even matter?) "I'm over the Coachella moon," Raquel wrote on her Instagram from the Empire Polo Club in Indio, California, where Coachella is usually held year after year during non-COVID times. Mazel to the happy couple, but can we talk about what this means for us, you guys?

For the sake of my sanity, I beg of thee, dear producers, do not make us endure a slow crawl to the aisle like all of last season leading up to Jax and Brittany's nuptials. The painstaking planning. The disinviting. The selecting of wedding guests. The fact that we know their dog Graham Cracker is going to be the ring bearer and Raquel will go on about how cute it is for an entire episode. I can't do it!

I think James said it best when he said...

Many of the cast members congratulated the couple, too, which means we're not even going to get drama! I want drama! And not Lisa Vanderpump giving marriage advice!