Hey Lana, girl, you need some backup. Too Hot to Handle Season 2 was full of just the right mix of life-affirming romantic breakthroughs and moments that made me fear for the future of humanity (Cam's $2,000 trip to the shower was a definite low point). But I think Season 3 needs to mix things up by introducing a secret cockblocker into the mix.
Look, the longer this show is on the air, the savvier the contestants are going to get. Personally, I already think the idea that a group of 10 strangers can't refrain from having sex for one month seems patently ridiculous (but then again, I live my life like the disapproving spinster aunt in a Jane Austen novel, so what do I know?). Even if the producers lie to the next round of guests and promise them they're heading to hookup paradise, they're going to have at least some suspicion that they're on Too Hot to Handle. And without the element of surprise, it only makes sense that a few people are going to be signing up in hopes of taking home some cold, hard cash.
As a result, the general premise of the show — teaching a group of unrepentant players how to get in touch with their emotional side — is going to be compromised. Since the next round of contestants are almost guaranteed to know the ins and outs of the show's rules, it's time to throw them a curveball. Enter the cockblocker.
What Would The Cockblocker Do?
Much like the catfish on The Circle, the cockblocker would be playing an entirely different game than their hard-partying counterparts. This contestant would be on the show not to form a meaningful relationship, but to sabotage hookups and plant seeds of doubt in the other players' minds. They would be the proverbial snake in the garden, whose only goal is to walk away with the cash prize.
Season 2's Tabitha would have been perfect in this role. She came on the show ready to cause trouble, flirt with as many people as possible, and break all the rules. She was a true agent of chaos, and that's the kind of secret weapon the show needs to keep people on their toes in Season 3.
Right now, the cast is way too flippant about wasting cash on kisses and crab grabs, because they're not really there for the money. They're there for the hookups. In truth, the money is practically an afterthought for most contestants, but as Chase demonstrated with his constant admonishments of his teammates, for some people, the prize does matter. So it only makes sense to have at least one person whose primary goal is winning as much of the $100k grand prize as possible.
And the real kicker would be that if the cockblocker successfully stopped the other players from wasting money, they would take home the cash, no matter how much personal growth their fellow contestants displayed.
The Cockblocker Could Actually Make The Show More Uplifting
Even though Too Hot to Handle features night vision scenes of virtual strangers having sex in a room full of other people, it's a weirdly emotional show. In Season 2, nearly everyone had some sort of personal breakthrough, and most of them were quite touching. Whether it was Marvin getting candid about how his father walking out on his mom made him wary of commitment or Carly learning she has to stand up for herself, most of the contestants went on a real journey of self-discovery.
Now imagine if you will a cynical cockblocker entering the show to act as a relationship saboteur, only to find themselves falling hard for one of their fellow contestants. That would make for some exquisite television. Think of the inner turmoil, the teary confessionals, and the moment when the cockblocker revealed their identity (and ulterior motives for killing their vibes) to the group.
It would be a blast, and it would ensure Too Hot to Handle continues to evolve. Netflix has nothing to lose by playing into the fact that the cast is going to be craftier in Season 3 just by virtue of having watched two previous seasons of the show. Just as the Season 2 cast of The Circle was far more cutthroat than their Season 1 counterparts, the Season 3 cast of Too Hot to Handle is likely to be more adept at bending Lana's rules for their own gain.
The only way to get ahead of the situation is to add a fresh element to the third season that no one would see coming. Not to mention, it's about time Lana got an ally in her quest to convince the contestants to keep their hands to themselves. Lana, bring in the Season 3 cockblocker — you know you want to.
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Images: Tom Dymond/Netflix