Here I am, minding my own business, and surfing Instagram for the latest Bachelor drama (Amanda Kloots and Michael Allio, just saying) when I came across a video that shook me to my core. When Clayton first was announced as the next Bachelor, we knew next to nothing about him, other than one major detail: Clayton Echard is a freestyle rapper. At first, I thought, "Oh, this is a joke! He has a sense of humor." But I learned, as time went on, that it wasn't a joke. And so when I saw this video of Clayton rapping I was stopped, dead in my tracks. And I need to share it (it being Clayton's rapping alter ego, Clay-Doh) now.
It's shocking, it's uncomfortable at times, it's something I passionately hope he leaves out of the equation when it comes to finding a potential wife. (Unfortunately, I worry this will come up the same way Matt James' TikTok dancing skills came up and we'll be left with another awkward end credits scene like this one.)
And for curious minds, I did what no reporter probably would think to do... and that was transcribe Clay-Doh's flow. In all it's squints glory?
It's Clay-Doh back up in the game
For y'all that don't know, that straight up be my rap name
And I'm here, just to let you know I can deliver
Give you a little personality, but just straight up a sliver
'Cus uh, y'all can't handle the whole boy
He wrapping on this track and in the truck I got them toys
So, uh, if you're talking up, you can feel the heat
But I'mma let you know with this beat, you gotta stomp your feet
Cuz, uh, that boy got that flow
Rappin' all day, how long can he go
I'm just talking about that money I'm straight swimmin'
Overwhelmed top of my head dating 30 women
That's a lot
What y'all think I'm all on my mental
I'm tryin' make sure that I'm rapping on these instrumentals
But, uh, I got a lot to say but I ain't got all this time so gotta make sure you bring that pay
When you talkin' funny
I'm lookin' for my honey
Did I find her- I hope I ain't bouncin'-
A lot of people complained about Clayton becoming the Bachelor. And I'm not here to dispute that. But if Clayton thought this was the way to America's heart in showing he had a personality worth winning over us and 25 "lucky" women, I think he needs to reevaluate.
Images: Instagram, @claytonechard