They may not have explicitly spelled it out, but it’s clear Stephanie and Ryan on 90 Day Fiancé speak the (love) language of gift giving and receiving. Previously in the show, the American revealed that she spends up to $1,300 each month on her Belize-born boy toy, even secretly paying his salary at her friend’s resort where he’s (sort of) employed. From the second we met her, she revealed to her psychic pal Maria that she’s constantly showering her fiancé in gifts, and watches seem to be a particular favorite. In the latest episode, which aired Sunday, January 24, she finally made the trek to deliver all those presents in person — and it was quite the haul.
“Over the past few years, I’ve spent thousands on his gifts, but I love buying Ryan gifts because, you know, he’s never had much of anything,” the self-proclaimed cougar revealed on the TLC show. “He’s very appreciative of everything that I buy him.”
But actually, no, that’s not the truth, Ellen. While Ryan was an incredible gift opener, the reality TV star revealed in a confessional that he’d rather just have cash. But barring that, he’s apparently happy to let his fiancée go out and do all of his shopping for him so that he doesn’t have to bother hitting the mall. He’s just being responsible, folks! We’re in a pandemic! Nobody should be hitting the mall.
But what exactly did Stephanie bring with her when she packed her bags and headed to reunite with her man after a staggering (and nearly disastrous) 10 months apart? Join me as I go through the full list.
Some New Bathing Suits
You know how people who live on the beach are always running short on swimsuits, right? Thank god Stephanie made sure that Ryan has everything he needs for a day by the water.
About 12 Swim Tops
OK, actually, it’s not clear whether all 12 are for him. What she actually said was that she picked up about a dozen swim shirts “so he and [she] can have matching stuff when [they] swim.” After all, it’s common knowledge that there’s absolutely nothing sexier than matching your outfit to your Mrs.
A Dozen Watches
And, for the record, this is on top of all of the watches she’s apparently already bought him. “Are you still buying him watches?” Maria asked in the couple’s first episode on December 27, and it’s apparent now that the answer is yes. But she didn’t just get him any old fistful of watches. She managed to find one that perfectly matched a pair of pants she’d already bought him — and another one of the time pieces cost a whopping $3,000. “I love it,” Stephanie declared as she packed her bags. “I love it, I love it. He’s gonna look so good in that.”
When she actually gave the expensive accessory to him, she warned him to be careful with it. “Do not… I know you would lose a lot of things,” she entreated. “Please, I don’t want you to lose that one.” He agreed that, if he did, he’d go hide in a hole, and she pledged that they had a deal. I really think these two are gonna make it, you guys. Look at this stunning communication!
Her Own (Future) Engagement Ring
While they already filled out their K-1 visa paperwork — and they’ve been freely referring to each other as their fiancés and talking about their engagement — it turns out that Ryan has yet to actually propose. Just in case this is the trip that he decides to do so, Stephanie packed the ring that her dad gave her mother when they were married.
Two Pairs of Slides
He mentioned he needed new ones, and Stephanie was all over it. She can’t have her boo looking anything but his best!
Some Snazzy Sunglasses
For “Mr. Jungle,” Stephanie decreed according to the subtitles, although I initially misheard her as, “For Mr. Jean Gaul,” thinking she had come up with a fun nickname for Jean Paul Gaultier. I wouldn’t put it past her!
Two Pairs of Briefs
It’s all about the sexy undies, baby. She can’t have her man getting down in the bedroom in any regular old tighty-whities. Instead, she picked out one alluring pair in red and another in grey.
A Handful of Boxers
But, OK, she did also get him some regular undies for, you know, all of those days when it’s not a special occasion. Ryan pretended to be excited about the wardrobe staples, but this was around the part where I started to feel less like a wealthy older woman was showering her sweet young thang in gifts and more like Stephanie was a mom stocking up on back to school basics. Not sexy, Stephanie.
A Shirt
Just one?????? You’re visiting for 14 days, lady. You’re telling me you couldn’t splash out for 14 shirts? Tragic.
Hair Buffs
Awww, this gift was a nostalgic one. As Stephanie forcibly jammed one of the buffs onto Ryan’s head, she couldn’t help but reminisce about how he used to wear hair coverings like that when they first met. Romance is in the air, friends!
40 Glow-in-the-Dark Condoms
“Since I’m not sure if you’ve been a nasty boy or not, I brought some glow-in-the-dark rubbers,” the American declared boldly. She’s wary of any potential cheating that happened while she was away, and while she’s trying to be cautious when it comes to STDs, she’s apparently not going to let that stop her from boning Ryan four times a night for the next 10 days. (And, yes, that’s literally the schedule they set for themselves. Anyone else just get second-hand exhausted?)
Glow-in-the-Dark Tape
Sex tape? Regular scotch tape that glows in the dark? I’m not sure, but Stephanie seems to know what she’s doing. “In case you told me no [about the condoms], I brought some glow-in-the-dark tape to tape your ass up and then I’ll put [the condoms] on for ya.”
The Expectation That She Can Go Through His Phone at Will
Nearly as soon as the physical gifts were done, Stephanie revealed she had brought something else with her: a little romantic entitlement. All that sex talk and those cheating insinuations reminded the blonde that she’d discovered some, uh, distasteful texts on Ryan’s phone in the past. As she revealed to Maria earlier in the season, she’d caught her fiancé talking to other women in the past, and she wasn’t about to put up with it again.
“Why don’t you bring that phone over here, unlock it, and let’s go through it?” she asked — and, surprisingly, Ryan agreed. He walked her through his recent messages as he explained that one girl was his cousin (which Stephanie didn’t seem to believe) and that another was his sister (whom she seemed more familiar with). Unfortunately, even this didn’t satisfy her completely, because later on she accused him of expecting her to want to take a peek at his personal device, hinting that he had probably cleared out any evidence of wrongdoing long before her plane touched down. When Ryan claimed he didn’t expect it, she seemingly got upset with the fact that he didn’t know her well enough to know that she’d want to. There is no winning here, folks. And maybe that’s because she also brought...
A Crushing Sense of Guilt
As we learned several episodes ago, Ryan isn’t the only one who has strayed. While none of his affairs have been confirmed by anyone other than psychic Maria, Stephanie knows that she fell into another man’s arms after one of their big blowup fights. Following what she thought was a breakup, she allowed someone else to comfort her — and not just anyone else. She hooked up with her fiancé’s cousin, Harris, and she’s yet to come clean.
Considering these two will theoretically be on their way to the altar soon enough, the clock is ticking, and Stephanie knows she has to mention it now on this trip or never (and, frankly, never’s not really an option when you’ve already aired out your dirty laundry on a show watched by millions worldwide). Unfortunately, the timing is tricky. Do you bring it up first thing and risk ruining the rest of your trip? Do you wait until the last day when you are about to hop on a plane and risk your partner feeling betrayed? This is one gift I would not want to be stuck giving, but it seems like we’ll see how it plays out next week.
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Images: TLC