- 90 Day Fiancé -Ranking The Voices Of Reason On '90 Day Fiancé'
Couples on reality TV shows can be forgiven for occasionally needing an outside perspective to introduce some actual reality into their lives. When you’re part of a franchise like 90 Day Fiancé, it’s easy to get tangled up in all the big personalities, the cameras, and the pressure cooker of a situation that requires you to evaluate your relationship as a ticking clock counts down to the day you either have to make things legally binding or send someone TF home. That’s why it’s so important that the stars have their family and friends around them to be the voice of reason on 90 Day Fiancé. But that doesn’t mean that those additional perspectives are always actually, well, reasonable.
On the Sunday, January 31, episode of 90 Day, more than a few couples needed a little outside intervention. Brandon chatted with his parents, Mike’s mom offered a temperature check on their relationship, and Rebecca and Zied were met with some serious push back from her PI pal. But which voice of reason was the reasonable of them all? Let’s go through the episode from least to most rational.
Brandon’s Dad, Ron
When Brandon first flew his fiancée Julia from Russia over to rural Virginia, he decided they should start their lives together on his family’s farm so they could save some cash. His parents let him know in no uncertain terms that living under their roof meant living under their rules, and that meant that Brandon and Julia would stay in separate bedrooms and their future daughter-in-law would help out when it came to farm chores. If they weren’t OK with that, they could leave — but when Brandon tried to let his parents know they were planning to do just that, they lost it.
Ron, in particular, got upset. “Really? You think you can afford an apartment right now?” he kept asking in a disbelieving tone. “Don’t make a stupid decision,” he continued. “I mean, think about what you’re doing.” Ron insisted that his son was making the wrong decision — but his response seemed to be less financially minded than it seemed. “You’re the man,” he told his son, implying that it was Brandon’s job to make the decisions for both him and Julia instead of building a life collaboratively with his partner.
Additionally, he also tried to shut down any idea of compromise. When Brandon suggested that they might be able to stay put if he and Julia could share a room and nix the farmwork, Ron put his foot down. “Absolutely not,” he said. “I’m not going to give in to her. There has to go be some respect here, Brandon.” Talk about wanting it your way or the highway.
In a confessional, he vented that they shouldn’t have had to give up a “bargaining chip.” He continued, “He needs to say, ‘Dear, listen to me.’ He has to! He has to take control. I’m just shaking my head. … Whatever. Whatever.”
Level of reason in this voice of reason: 1/10. Just about none. Ron didn’t introduce anything helpful into the conversation. He just made it more tense. The only reasonable thing he said was that maybe Brandon and Julia really should move out if that’s what they wanted. (Uh, yeah, Ron. That’s exactly what your son was trying to tell you.)
Rebecca’s Friend, Melanie
In the past, Melanie has been a good friend to Rebecca by trying to keep an eye out for her — but she took that protective nature a step too far when she finally met Zied in person for the first time. Not only was she (unintentionally?) condescending when she did that whole repeating-yourself-but-louder move because she assumed Zied taking time to consider his answer meant that he didn’t understand her English, but she was also straight-up rude when it came to discussing the couple’s financial situation.
“What did you do today when Rebecca went to work?” she asked him. “You’re not here, like, for vacation. You’re here. This is it. … There’s lots of different businesses that you could actually walk to for work if you needed to.” When Rebecca tried to explain that, legally, Zied isn’t allowed to work, Melanie didn’t apologize for making the assumption that her friend’s fiancée was just taking advantage of her. Instead, she doubled down by asking Rebecca if she was “OK” with the fact that they would only have one income for the time being.
She also seemed completely closed off when it came to getting to know Zied as an individual instead of a carbon copy of Rebecca’s ex. “I’m not trying to compare you with the ex, but there are similarities. Rebecca, tell me how it’s different,” she demanded. “Both young, both from North Africa, and now we’re at the same apartments. Didn’t you and your ex live down the hall?”
Level of reason in this voice of reason: 2/10. Look. I get that Rebecca’s ex set a bad precedent, and Melanie’s just trying to keep an eye on things, but if you’re going to be critical of the situation, at least be knowledgeable of the situation. However, I will award that one extra point for forcing the you’re-living-in-the-same-apartments issue out into the open. Kudos on that one, Melanie.
Brandon’s Mom, Betty
Betty dealt with the situation a little better, despite the fact that Brandon made it extra personal when he said that his mom’s “neediness” for him was just as much of an issue for Julia as tending to the pigs. She revealed that she had only wanted to feel like she was “gaining a daughter rather than losing her son,” which makes total sense when you consider that the setup she had going meant she had a woman young enough to be her daughter living in a bedroom in her house and doing chores just like any other member of the family.
Unlike her husband, however, she was willing to give a little to get a little. Though she was originally the one most against the idea of Brandon and Julia sharing a bedroom, she was happier to have them canoodling in her house than to move 30 minutes down the road. “If it keeps them on the farm…” she opined.
Level of reason in this voice of reason: 4/10. Betty understood that her son moving out wasn’t what anyone at the table wanted, but she also understood she had created an untenable situation. She didn’t help Brandon see anything any differently, but she did help her husband.
Mike’s Mom, Trish
Mike’s mom’s visit seemed to change the game between him and Natalie after all they had done was butt heads for the first few weeks of her 90 day stay. With her on her way out the door, Trish had one last opportunity to check in with her son, and she used it to her full advantage. With a surprisingly unbiased take on the situation, she reminded her son that his (sort of) fiancé seemed to be “trying pretty hard” to make him happy and to make their relationship work. She also gave him the same sort of tough talk she’d been giving Natalie when it came to the state of their engagement.
“Where are you at with maybe giving her the ring back or not?” she asked her son. “Well, you know I’m concerned about all of this and where it’s going to go, and I don’t want to see you get hurt. You guys have already hurt each other a little bit. I think the whole ring thing was a pretty big deal. I think she’s sorry for doing that, but I don’t think you’re over that. So that tells me that it’s kinda rocky. … I think that the next couple of months — just the relationships part is what really needs to be considered, of course .And, you know, just make sure it’s what you really, really want to do in the end.”
She gave her son a dose of outside perspective, but she also left him to make up his own mind about what was the right or wrong thing to do. Unfortunately, she did undercut herself a little when she fell into the trap of wondering just what Natalie’s intentions are in coming to America. “Is she really into this and really into you being over here with you and marrying you and wanting to have children with you, or could it be that she just wants to come over here, go do her own thing?” she asked. Her concerns about whether the lives the two of them want are compatible were totally valid, but I don’t really think Natalie has given anyone reason to think that she’s just using Mike for the green card.
Level of reason in this voice of reason: 6/10. Pretty impressive, TBH, but she could’ve stayed on message.
Amira’s Friend, Xavier
After that whole detained-in-Mexico thing, Amira wasn’t sure how she felt about potentially traveling to Serbia to give quarantining outside of France a second shot before coming to the States. Andrew was pushing her to consider it, but she needed a little perspective from someone less personally invested in the decision. Thankfully, Xavier was happy to serve that up in spades. He patiently heard Amira’s explanation and concerns… and then, when he could see that she was clearly looking for someone to tell her it was OK to say no, he laid out the facts.
“You already had the experience of [being detained] in Mexico,” he reminded her. “You’re not going to go to Serbia just to return again to France and have another shock. … You’re not going to go relive an experience like that again.” While he was polite but firm while talking to Amira, he was even more straight-forward in a confessional. “It’s a dumb thing to do,” he said. “Instead of being for her and consoling her as long as she needs, instead of doing that, [Andrew is telling her], ‘Go get another ticket. Go back and relive that experience if you have to.’”
He called the whole thing an abomination — and, frankly, he’s right and he should say it. At this point, if Amira really did quarantine for two weeks in Serbia before heading stateside, it would still only give her about two weeks in America before she and Andrew would have to tie the knot. At this point, when they don’t even know what their lives would look like together, they’d be better off postponing any potential marriage and then reapplying for a spousal visa when and if that day comes.
“It’s not good,” Xavier told Amira frankly. “And I’m telling you he’s not taking into account all that could happen to you. If I were you, I wouldn’t go. … You can’t just consider him, you have to think about yourself.”
Level of reason in this voice of reason: 9/10. No real complaints. Xavier could’ve been a little less biased in favor of Amira, but, frankly, I’m glad he was so clearly concerned for his friend instead of trying to play both sides.
Yara’s Pregnancy Test
It took a grand total of three pregnancy tests for Jovi to finally accept that his fiancé really did have a bun in the oven, but that last one finally pushed him over the edge. There was no ambiguity left to decipher when the digital display read “pregnant” instead of simply showing a second, faint line. The clear answer forced the father-to-be to confront the fact that he had a baby on the way — and that he’d steadfastly been accusing his future wife of lying to him. The test pushed him to get on board with reality, apologize, and start considering what his future with Yara actually looks like. I’m not sure if these two have what it takes to make it long term, but I’m hoping they figure it out sooner rather than later.
Level of reason in this voice of reason: 10/10. No room for taking sides or playing on emotions here. Just the cold hard facts, baby. And I do mean baby.
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