If you’re like me, then reflecting on 2020 might feel a little bit like being thrown through time and space — an overwhelming blur. You know when Matthew McConaughey goes through the wormhole in Interstellar and you don’t really know what’s happening, but you feel a lot of anxiety and kind of want to throw up anyway? It’s a little like that. Somewhere in my personal 2020 wormhole, though, there is a moment of levity, thanks to being a 90 Day Fiancé fan. Amidst all the chaos and uncertainty, there is, inexplicably, the memory of a series of months where all I thought about was whether or not Nicole Nafziger was in Morocco with her fiancé of 73 years, Azan.

I spent hours stalking her Instagram posts, reading posts from skeptical Redditors, and trying to figure out how and why Nicole had somehow ended up stranded in Morocco for nearly half a year. For a while, I wasn’t sure if she was there at all. And when I finally did deduce that she was, indeed, in Morocco, I still couldn’t quite make sense of the details. The entire situation was chaotic, sure, but it was entertaining, too — the exact reason I’m a 90 Day fan to begin with.

Recently, I decided to tentatively enter the wild world of Nicole Nafziger once again. I needed a distraction from the news and a 2021 that was looking eerily similar to 2020. I found myself browsing through my old articles that chronicled Nicole’s journey across the world and back. And that’s when I noticed something odd. In every post, all the Instagram embeds that I had included in the stories were suddenly unavailable. At first I thought that, maybe, it was a glitch. And then I realized: Nicole had deleted every single photo of her and Azan together in Morocco (and there were quite a few of them).