Vanderpump Rules has been my escapist show for years. As a fellow 20-something living in WeHo, I reveled in the exploits of these messy young people who also ordered from Bossa Nova but then fought on the streets of Fairfax over a plate of "pasta." (I do the first thing, not the second.) But, Vanderpump Rules is not what it used to be. And with many of the original cast members fired from the show (Jax, Stassi, and Kristen will not be returning), one must ask: will you actually watch Vanderpump Rules Season 9?

It is no secret that the Bravo reality series has unraveled behind-the-scenes in the last year. In front of the camera wasn't much better. The last season revolved around Brittany and Jax's Kentucky wedding, and listening to Brittany consistently refer to their "Ver-sales" wedding venue is about as good as it got. (Don't get me started on the Next Generation they tried to bring in. That worked out well.)

And not that the Jax/Brittany/Stassi/Kristen departures weren't justified, but without three of the main shitstirrers, what do we have left? Tom Sandoval managing TomTom? Schwartz talking about his mumus? Babies?

Jax singlehandedly gave us cheating, nose surgery, constant lying, a near drowning, shirtless parking lot fights, and more cheating. Stassi gave us a reason to love Pinot Grigio. Kristen gave us sleeping with your best friend's boyfriend, Miami Girl, "Suck a dick, Diana," Uber investigating, the Mexico couch cushions, James Mae tees, and on that note, James Kennedy.