We're two weeks away from Katie's Bachelorette season premiere, and my excitement is quickly turning into paralyzing anxiety that love is an illusion and no one can be trusted, especially not any man who sets foot on The Bachelorette set. And the new trailer for Katie's Bachelorette season is doing nothing to soothe my nerves.
The trailer, which dropped Wednesday, May 26, teases a lot of tears, a lot of wrong reasons, and an ambulance. At one point, Karl explicitly states, "I didn't come here for the bromance, I came here for the followers." Um, excuse me? OK, to be fair to Karl, this seems way too straightforward of an edit for a Bachelorette promo. I'm guessing he's just repeating what he claims someone else in the house said. Another scene shows Katie crying at a cocktail party, telling the men she's "shaking right now." And then the promo ends on Katie walking away from the cameras, saying, "Someone book my flight home."
I don't say this lightly, but if Katie leaves The Bachelorette heartbroken, I will never recover. Honestly, I just want to see one thing go right in 2021. It's what Bachelor Nation deserves.
But that's not the only thing that's got my bullshit meter buzzing. Also on Wednesday, Katie took to Twitter and Instagram to preemptively ask fans to be nice to the group of guys on the show. "Please remember to stay kind in this. You'll only get to see a glimpse of how extraordinary they [the men] really are," she wrote in part, prompting the question, what did they do on the show that would make us...not nice?
You see why I'm nervous now, right?
After Katie's message, I will definitely be skeptical of every single man that walks up to her on Night 1. The only bright spot in this new promo is the arrival of Blake Moynes, who I guess is not the man in the box like I suspected. Blake, showing up with a simple surprise, wooing Katie by holding up what I assume is a boombox à la Say Anything... is truly perfect.
Don't let us down, Blake!
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Image: ABC/Craig Sjodin