Welcome to The Dale Show, a new spin-off series from the creators of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. In this installment, we’ll be focusing solely on the former NFL player turned Party City model who was once competing for Clare Crawley’s heart. Now that he’s already won it, we’re dedicating a two-hour TV slot to the mayhem the would-be-couple have left in their wake. Or at least that’s what it feels like we’re doing after the latest episode of The Bachelorette.
The Oct. 27 episode of the Bachelor Nation show seemed to be all about just one person — and reddit user /u/sweeneyscissorhands even did the work of tallying up just how many times Dale’s name was said throughout the episode. The total? A whopping 114 mentions. According to their math, that’s about “1.15 DPM (Dales per minute).” Speaking with The Dipp, /u/sweeneyscissorhands added, "The man was living rent-free in ALL their heads this week!"
That was clear — and I decided to take things a step further. Though I was awestruck by just how many times Dale’s name was mentioned, I was also curious about just how much time the show actually spent talking to him, talking about him, or making unfortunately-obvious references to him. Second by second, I went through the episode, and here’s how it fared.
Without commercials breaks (and including promos), the episode ran 1 hour, 23 minutes, and 59 seconds long. Of those roughly 84 minutes, just about 40 of them were spent on Dale. That’s almost half for one single contestant on a show where roughly 20 men remain, and that’s not even counting random B-roll shots where Dale reacted to something unrelated to him, appeared in the background, or was shown as part of a group of men.
But in case you need to see the proof for yourself, I’m breaking it down. Here’s just how much screen time The Dale Show got last Tuesday night.
The Promo — 42 Seconds
Before the episode even started, Dale was part of the storyline. Of the 1 minute and 37 seconds spent on previewing the drama that was to come, 42 seconds were spent talking about Dale, showing Dale talking about Clare, and showing Dale and Clare together. Once again, that’s just shy of half.
Post-Yosef Cuddle — 3 Minutes, 50 Seconds
After Yosef’s not-so-little shit fit, Dale was the first on scene to comfort Clare. He swooped in to pick up the pieces, hold his lady close to his heart, and tell her everything was going to be OK. Even after he left her to gather her thoughts on her own, she couldn’t stop talking about him while chatting with Chris Harrison. Though Yosef had caused the drama, the Bachelorette only had one man on her mind.
Dale Gets His Rose — 18 Seconds
While some contestants only get a handful of seconds between hearing their name and collecting their rose, the camera spent nearly 20 lingering on Clare and her main man. He told her he would “always” accept her rose, and they hugged before she moved on.
Promo Take Two — 27 Seconds
Before a commercial break, another promo aired teasing what was to come. Clare spent nearly 30 seconds talking about her number one guy as she told him he was perfect and the other guys complained that no one else was getting any time.
Dale’s Bro Chat — 30 Seconds
After the commercial, some of the guys gathered to talk about what went down with Yosef. As Jordan C. told his tale of getting interrupted by the single father who decided to set an example for his daughter by publicly shitting all over a (relatively inoffensive) woman on national TV, Dale jumped in to share the second half of the story, the one where he knew he had to go talk to Clare because he’s seen his sisters deal with emotional abuse.
Clare’s Crush Confession — 41 Seconds
In an ITM, Clare chatted with producers and the cameras as she reminisced about how Dale had come to her emotional rescue the night before. “Dale plus Clare, Dale plus Clare, Dale, Dale, Dale, Dale,” she said while doing a little dance. You get it.
The Dish on Dale — 31 Seconds
On Instagram, Bachelorette alum Deanna Pappas Stagliano revealed her conversation with Clare lasted much longer than we saw on screen, but of the few minutes the show did share, half a minute was spent on Dale talk. Deanna hinted that it sounded like Clare had already found The One. “You know, you can see it. I mean, just sitting here, you see it!” she said. “You couldn’t quite smile any harder than you’re doing right now.”
The Dale Dish, Continued — 26 Seconds
In part two of the conversation, Clare seemed to change the subject to Yosef only to use it to once more shine a light on her relationship with Dale.
The Dale Dish, Part 3 — 24 Seconds
Clare also whipped out a pair of Dale’s pants and invited Deanna to give them a sniff. Both declared that the pants smelled great.
The Dale Dish, Part 4 — 45 Seconds
The Dale talk with Deanna still wasn’t done. When the camera cut back to them for a fourth time, the two Bachelorettes joked that this might be the shortest season in the history of the show. “Have you ever heard that saying, where someone says to you like, ‘When you know, you know’?” Deanna asked. “I had never experienced that before I met my husband. … I’m telling you, it is true.” Clare agreed in a confessional. “I know exactly what she’s talking about,” she whispered. “I’m in trouble.”
The Date Wait — 10 Seconds
After Clare finally showed up for her group date, she revealed she canceled the day portion of the date (rumor has it that it was because she thought the plan the producers put together would go awry much in the way that Extreme Strip Dodgeball seemed to the week before). While some of the guys were bummed to miss out on some of their time with the Bachelorette, Dale was quick to announce that he preferred having only the cocktail party. “I don’t ever want to sound arrogant or overly confident, but, like, when I get quality time with her? It’s a wrap,” he gushed in a confessional.
The Date Drama — 2 Minutes, 30 Seconds
On the date itself, Dale was the first to grab his lady and whisk her away for a little private rendezvous. First, he made everyone group hug, but then he enjoyed what was somewhere between 40 minutes and an hour chatting with her (and making out with her on her bed).
The Date Drama, Continued — 2 Minutes, 14 Seconds
As the guys started to wonder where they were — and if they were ever coming back — Eazy finally decided to hunt them down. After another few minutes of screen time, the other football player finally sent the first packing, but not without Clare making it clear who she’d rather be spending her time with. “Hold on! Give me a hug!” Clare called after Dale as he tried to quietly leave.
The Date Drama, Part 3 — 39 Seconds
When Dale returned to the group to chill with the rest of the boys, they were quick to grumble him about hogging the Bachelorette's time.
The Date Drama, Part 4 — 23 Seconds
In between one-on-one conversations, Clare appeared to ask producers if they could “kind of hurry the rest along” after she spent a good chunk of the night talking to Dale. In a confessional, Jay reflected on how the guys were ready to start being more “aggressive” in light of the fact that only one man seemed to be getting his fair share of time.
The Date Drama, Part 5 — 3 Seconds
Even when Dale isn’t on screen or part of the conversation, he’s always part of the conversation. When Riley tried to interrupt Ed, Ed asked for a few more minutes. “This is the time that I’ve been waiting for,” he said. “I mean, Dale got plenty of time.” Oof.
The Date Drama, Part 6 — 1 Minute, 27 Seconds
Just a few seconds later, the Dale discourse was back in full force. Blake Moynes complained that his number one competition got nearly an hour of uninterrupted time while the rest of them were fighting for scraps, and everyone else seemed to agree. Things only got more heated when Dale (accidentally?) walked in on Clare and Jay after excusing himself for a bathroom break. When Clare sent Jay packing without Dale even asking if he could steal her for a second, Jay returned to the guys to reveal just who had interrupted him — and they all seemed ready to riot.
The Date Drama, Part 7 — 2 Minutes, 59 Seconds
Dale and Clare got busy sharing smooches once they were left alone again, but Chasen came to break up the party almost immediately. When he sent Dale back to the rest of the dudes, they were all prepared to confront him with the receipts. “You sat here with the band of brothers talk in the beginning,” Riley said. “Stop being a politician and just get to it, man. … You spoke earlier about keeping it real and respectful to the other people.”
The Group Date Rose — 24 Seconds
The date drama culminated in Clare rewarding what the other boys considered to be Dale’s bad behavior. Though she gushed that she enjoyed “every conversation she had” throughout the night, she had only one rose to give, and she gave it to Dale. “Thank you for stepping up and being bold,” she said. “I appreciate you showing me you care.”
Post-Date Problems — 2 Minutes, 15 Seconds
After the boys returned to their beds and the common area, they couldn’t stop shit talking Dale both to his face and behind his back. The guys told him it was not cool that he had asked for five minutes in the beginning of the date only to disappear for at least 45. “I was the best one suited to… just the best man suited, I guess suited is maybe not the best word, just to be there for her,” he tried to defend himself, but no one else was having any of it.
Promo Take Three — 18 Seconds
Eventually, a promo showed that Clare finally moved onto her other dates, including a doomed one-on-one with Zach J. Even before things got started, however, the Bachelorette admitted in the preview that she was having trouble getting her head in the game. “I just wish, I wish I could see Dale,” she confessed.
Promo Take Four — 25 Seconds
Another portion of the promo featured all of the fallout to come after the guys are asked to roast each other and more than a few of them shine the spotlight on Dale. “That wasn’t funny,” Clare declares.
Dale on the Brain — 13 Seconds
When the show came back, Clare came to pick up Zach J. for their date, but she couldn’t stop talking about Dale, how hot he looked in his hat, and how much she wanted to ravish him in his bed. Despite that, she promised she was “in it” with Zach and would be “present” during their time together. Sure, Clare.
Dale on the Brain, Continued — 5 Seconds
Just a few minutes later, she revealed she was already not giving Zach her full attention. In a confessional, she admitted that his nervous energy makes her anxious, unlike Dale’s soothing disposition. “In moments like this, I wish Dale was here,” she said.
Jump-Start Speculation — 1 Minute, 5 Seconds
By the pool, a couple of the guys were talking about You Know Who. Though they hoped a new one-on-one would be able to shake Clare out of her single-minded focus, they also traded theories about just how she was already in so deep. Zac C. revealed that some had “alluded to the fact” that it was possible Clare and Dale had exchanged messages on social media before they finally met in person. During the premiere, Clare specifically mentioned that Blake Moynes was the only one who reached out to her before filming, but not everyone was so sure that was the case.
A Skewed Perspective — 16 Seconds
Back on the Zach J. date, the Bachelorette said things weren’t going as well as she hoped, but she couldn’t tell if it was because there wasn’t anything between her and Zach J. or if she was just so clouded by love for someone else. “Having somebody like Dale in my life puts things into a weird position with other people,” she shared. She tried to respect the process, but things quickly went off the rails for another reason entirely.
Dale’s Dating Pep Talk — 28 Seconds
After Zach J. was sent packing, Dale took the opportunity to impart some of his vast wisdom on the other guys. “If you come into this as a competition, you’ve lost,” he tells everyone else. They all frown and roll their eyes because they all already get it, Dale: Clare has made it perfectly clear there's no competition to be had from any of the other guys at this point.
Promo Take Five — 23 Seconds
“Coming up: Dale. Dale. Dale. What’s one thing y’all don’t know about Dale? Nothing, because he doesn’t shut the fuck up,” the promo teased. It was clear that the rest of the episode, like almost everything that came before it, would focus on a certain special someone.
Promo Take Six — 17 Seconds
The rest of the after-the-commercial-break promo also focused on Dale, though a little more obscurely. “Are the shocking rumors about this season true?” Chris Harrison asked in a voice over. Of course, the “shocking rumors” are that Clare and Dale skipped out on the rest of the season and left Tayshia Adams to step into the role of the lead suitor.
Dreaming of Ditching Dale — 4 Seconds
As another group date started up, Kenny was excited to have some time without Dale involved.
Dreaming of Ditching Dale, Continued — 10 Seconds
Kenny wasn’t alone in his romantic ideals. Brendan revealed he was also “glad that Dale was staying home today, for sure.” Both his and Kenny’s hopes would soon be dashed, however, by the fact that Dale is ever present even when he’s not actually present.
Don’t Start Without Dale — 18 Seconds
As legendary comedienne Margaret Cho introduced the idea of a roast to the guys, she revealed the other men who weren’t on the date (i.e. Dale and some other randos that Clare doesn’t care about) would make up the audience for the evening. “That sucks,” one of the guys complained. “Dale takes up a lot of attention and energy right now. … It seems like we might just continue on with this whole Dale and Clare show,” Ivan said.
A Bright Side — 16 Seconds
Some guys managed to find the silver-lining in it all when they realized they would have the chance to roast Dale in front of Clare. Bennett eagerly awaited the opportunity to take the other man down a peg.
A Brief Moment — 4 Seconds
During his set, Ben cracked a joke that he couldn’t wait to get everyone back together at “the wedding” one day. Though he said it was obvious everyone imagined the nuptials belonged to Clare and Dale, the gag was that it was actually his wedding to Clare. It was a blink and you’ll miss it moment, but Clare didn’t miss it, and she filed it away in her brain to bring up later.
Let the Games Begin — 2 Minutes, 32 Seconds
Unlike Ben, not everyone was so brief. Ivan started in on Dale next, then lots of guys followed, and then Bennett took things to the next level. “[It] was just on and on and on about Dale, to the point it was uncomfortable,” Clare said, summarizing this whole episode in one tidy sound bite.
Unpacking the Problem — 59 Seconds
After Bennett finally wrapped up his roast, Clare had a quick debrief with Margaret Cho. They both agreed that the fun night had become a surprisingly vicious take down. While Dale didn’t seem to mind rolling with the punches, and even laughed along a few times, the Bachelorette didn’t think there was anything to laugh about.
"Eazing" Into Things — 47 Seconds
Later that day, Eazy confronted Dale about why he thought the light-hearted fun had escalated the way it did. Dale admitted that the other contestants were all “rightfully” upset, and Eazy explained it was because they felt like they were wasting their time on a show where they didn’t have a shot.
Finally Moving On? — 20 Seconds
At the night portion of the date, Jordan C. admitted that they spent a big chunk of the day on Dale but that everyone was excited to actually talk about something else. Unfortunately, it seemed like that wasn’t meant to be.
Dragging the Drama Out — 8 Minutes, 21 Seconds
After that exuberant display earlier in the day, Clare was eager to talk to Bennett about his Dale roast. Bennett, however, was eager to talk about literally anything else. Paint drying. The weather. Korean skin care. Anything. Clare wasn’t having it, and that became a theme throughout her conversations with the guys. Back in the men’s huddle, they admitted that maybe it had been a misstep to focus so much on their main competition.
Though they all wanted to air out their frustrations, they realized in hindsight that they may have planted concerns about Dale in Clare’s mind. That was (partially) their intentions, but they didn’t anticipate it leading to Detective Clare trying to get to the bottom of just what had been said about her between the boys, especially when it came to that “best suited” comment. When the time came to give out a group date rose, the Bachelorette declared that she hadn’t gotten what she was looking for from the guys (conversations about Dale) in any of her one-on-one moments.
“I know what I’m looking for (Dale), and I know what I want (Dale),” she told them. “I feel tonight like I have a lot to think about, and I actually did not get what I needed with you guys, so I feel like right now this rose, I won’t be able to give it out tonight. … I’ll see you guys at the rose ceremony tomorrow.” Instead, she gave the rose to herself.
As the boys debated just what it meant that she had taken it all so personally (after the group date invitation specifically told everyone not to take things personally), she expressed her frustrations with everyone “dishing on” her “fiancé.” There’s been speculation on reddit that this comment may have actually been made about Benoît from Winter Games, who was actually her fiancé and may have also been the butt of a few off-screen jokes, it was hardly the only comment she made on the subject, and the others were pretty explicitly about Dale.
The Final Promo — 1 Minute, 2 Seconds
In the last few shots of the episode, the show looked forward to what’s left to come, and that’s a pretty dramatic fall out that no doubt has something to do with Dale. Though he’s not actually mentioned in the promo, it hints pretty heavily that Clare is ready to head home — and we doubt she’s going alone.
The Grand Total — 40 Minutes, 1 Second
So what does this all mean? Well, it shows just how lopsided the journey to find love became once Clare set her sights on one special someone. After declaring that she “knew it” on night one the second she met him, she’s been unable to focus on anyone else since.
It’s possible that editing is skewing our perspectives (maybe the reality of the situation is that the Dale talk only took up a quarter of the time they spent on filming this episode), what remains to be seen is the fact that, for nearly half the episode, the focus was on just one man. The good news? The promo also teased Tayshia’s first appearance. It seems like The Dale Show is about to be cancelled.
Images: Screenshots from ABC