There's been a lot of change in the lives of the Sex and the City women — Samantha's gone, Big's dead, Miranda's a masturbating misérable. Sure, Charlotte's remained unaltered, but it's Carrie's bad jokes on And Just Like That that truly prove that the more things change, the more they stay the same.
As Gabrielle Moss detailed, Carrie's always been prone to puns. And with Big's death, some of her more punny humor took a backseat for the first couple of episodes. But she's back with a vengeance, baby. Because even if Carrie doesn't have a weekly column to dump her bad jokes into, she's still got a captive audience in her remaining friends and the listeners of the X, Y, and Me podcast. (If the podcast listeners can handle Che and Jackie's humor, they can certainly handle Carrie's.)
When Charlotte wondered why the people in her life can't just stay who they were, Carrie replied, "Some of us don't have that luxury." But along with pointing out the many luxuries Carrie does have, I also beg to differ that Carrie's changed all that much from her Sex and the City days. Here are the (bad) jokes to prove it.
1. "Now that is seeing the condom as half full."
Episode 1, "Hello It's Me"
Charlotte thinks it's great that Sicko Brady is using protection with his girlfriend Luisa... even if it means that Miranda has to step on her son's used condoms full of semen before coffee.
2. "Oh, that must be why I don't ride it."
Episode 1, "Hello It's Me"
Oh, please Carrie — even if the A train didn't stand for "anal," you were never going to take the subway anyway,
3. "Uh, Che, listen, I wanna, I wanna circle back to something you said earlier that I'm personally triggered by... Citi Bike."
Episode 3, "When in Rome..."
Whether it's the subway or Citi Bike, Carrie's not riding it! What a zinger.
4. "All right, you know what, here, I'll switch seats with you. I'm used to getting slammed from behind."
Episode 3, "When in Rome..."
Sorry your dead husband had so much money that $1 million isn't even a blip on your radar. This really is the worst four-top ever. Pity party: Table of 4.
5. "Oh, so he was too Tinder."
Episode 4, "Some of My Best Friends"
And the award for Carrie's first official pun of the series (a play on tender) goes to Seema's Tinder date who cried after sex.
6. "Nah, it's probably more real estate than real."
Episode 4, "Some of My Best Friends"
Seema's friendship awakened Carrie's dormant punniness.
7. "Well, I'm not a doctor, but, uh, that's not my back."
Episode 5, "Tragically Hip"
If there's one thing I know medical professionals love, it's jokes about their diagnoses.
8. "This is very unsettling. ... No, I meant my stocks and socks. From here down I look like a Vermont art teacher."
Episode 5, "Tragically Hip"
The worst thing about getting major hip surgery is the lack of fashion!
9. "Will I be able to trade this in for a free margarita at the end?"
Episode 5, "Tragically Hip"
OK, I won't lie. The Applebee's pager jokes got me.
10. "Quit Like A Woman? What does that even mean? What? Curtsy to a bottle of vodka as it makes double your salary for doing the exact same job?"
Episode 5, "Tragically Hip"
Carrie's on a roll. Apparently, impending surgery brings out the best in Carrie's bad jokes.
11. "Well, this is a very special episode of Friends, 'The One Where They Lower Her to the Toilet.'"
Episode 5, "Tragically Hip"
Is this HBO Max's way of plugging the Friends reunion?
12. "And just remember, a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."
Episode 5, "Tragically Hip"
The sentiment about Charlotte's child changing their name to Rock was sweet, but the corniness stinks.
13. "Oh yeah, no. There are two things no one should ever be talked into: love and zip-lining."
Episode 6, "Diwali"
Buckle up, everybody. Carrie's got a traumatic zip-lining story to tell. And yes, it involves shoes.
14. "Apologies to my readers, there is no light at the end of the tunnel — just vomit."
Episode 7, "Sex and the Widow"
"Vomit at the end of the tunnel" doesn't have as nice a ring to it, does it?
15. "The cheese stands alone."
Episode 7, "Sex and the Widow"
Whom was this joke for, Carrie?! You said yourself, you were alone!
16. "Oh look, it's me, the wicked witch of my brownstone ... Okay, let's see... Fat Witch Original, Fat Witch Walnut... Oh, Blondie Witch. Writes itself."
Episode 8, "Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered"
The neighbor who keeps you up all night doesn't deserve brownies from Fat Witch! But this reminds me... when's Hocus Pocus 2 coming out?
17. "Well, how can we say no. … Oh, no, no, I'm asking. How can we say no?"
Episode 9, "No Strings Attached"
Classic Carrie, using some linguistic ambiguity to try to get out of something.
18. "I remarried myself with Band-Aid."
Episode 9, "No Strings Attached"
Carrie taping on Big's wedding band is pretty heartbreaking, maybe I should've let her off the hook for this one.
19. "That seems very unkosher."
Episode 10, "Seeing the Light"
For her final bad joke of And Just Like That, Carrie criticized the two rabbis who had dropped out of Rock's they-mitzvah. (But don't worry, they weren't bigoted, Rock just wasn't prepared.)
While it's unclear if And Just Like That is the end of Sex and the City, at least Carrie will always be Carrie.
Images: Craig Blankenhorn/HBO Max, HBO Max