True or False: Furbies are creepy AF
In this week's episode of "I Am The Cute One", we recapped Sister Act, but as is tradition on our Nostalgia podcast, chaos got the best of us and we got sidetracked with a conversation about creepy childhood toys.
My vote for the Creepiest Toy Award is the Furby. While I was never allowed to have my own, every time a friend was lucky (cursed?) enough to get one, I witnessed the plot of a horror movie.
It was always the same: One by one my friends would show up to school and said the four words that made me seethe with jealousy: "I got a Furby!" They had the glow that can only be associated with an elementary aged millennial who has been tricked into thinking that the responsibilities of motherhood is a fun little game. (I wonder why we all have anxiety now?)
That first week, my friend would give me daily updates on their cute new pet and spend their recess immersing themselves in the culture to learn Furbish. Duolingo who?
The next week, things would change. My friend would arrive to the bus stop looking a little more tired, a little more disheveled. Did I detect a trace of fear when they told me that "Hey, Kah Ay-Ay U-Nye" means "Hey, I see you" in Furbish?
And then, inevitably, the third week would come. My friend would casually mention during a game of Four Square that the Furby was in their closet with a towel over its head. They'd whisper that, despite the batteries being removed, their ravenous robot still woke up every night at 3 AM to screech at its poor, eight year old mother to feed them.
By the end of the month, their tiny tyrant toy would be in the attic and on its way to the next neighborhood garage sale. A tale as old as time.
Anywho. Did you have a Furby? Did it do anything creepy? Let me live vicariously through you because my parents had the good sense to keep those belligerent blinking bullies out of our home. (And, if you are a weirdo who DOESN'T think Furbies are THE CREEPIEST, which toy wears the crown for you?)