The list of Kardashian exes is… extensive. When you are beautiful, famous, and rich you basically have your pick of the A-list litter. So why does every last Kardashian ex suck? When researching the long list of men the Kardashian women have given their heart (fame and wealth) to, there is a laundry list of similar personality traits: They all have some level of notoriety (although rarely are they as famous as the ladies), narcissism, deception, impulsiveness, and self-destructiveness. Not exactly the adjectives you look for on Bumble profiles. All these past lovers fall somewhere on the scale of douchebag to inherently evil, which only leaves us one choice. Ranking the worst of the worst.
Before we focus on Kourtney, Kim and Khloe, I would be remiss to not have an honorable mention for the horrible exes that are Tyga and Blac Chyna, who also dated each other and have a child together. The web is so tangled. Tyga met Kylie when she was reportedly 14 and he was 21, but according to Seventeen, they officially started dating around Kylie’s 17th birthday. Still very young!! And the mess only started there. In the same report, Seventeen recalls a number of public feuds and messy breakups, especially after Chyna and Rob had a baby together in 2016.
But let's focus on Kim, Khloe, and Kourtney, K?
6. James Harden and Khloe, 2015 - 2016
James and Khloe didn’t date long, but he did say it was the worst year of his life, according to a 2016 profile in Sports Illustrated. If Khloe had to wake up to that beard everyday, I’m sure it was the worst year of her life too. His disdain didn’t have much to do with Khloe, though, but rather the media attention that followed her. Pro tip, if you don’t like paparazzi – don’t date a Kardashian! Khloe claimed long-distance and his infidelity led to their split.
Harden ranks sixth on the list because he isn’t important enough to really remember, but alleged cheaters always deserve to be roasted.
5. Ray J and Kim, 2005 - 2007
Ah, where it all began. Although Kim admitted on the Keeping Up With The Kardashians reunion that the show might not have been as successful without the scandal, I would hardly attribute her mogul status to one sex tape with a D-list singer. While there are mountains of rumors about who leaked the tape, the one thing we know for sure is that Kim publicly called Ray J a “pathological liar.”
It all started when The Sun published a report saying Ray J “claimed that she had a Louis Vuitton trunk of sex toys, would stop during sex to do her makeup, spent $100,000 on thongs" and that "her mom would call and she would nearly always take it."
And while you can’t believe everything you read online, it caused enough stir to get a response from Kim. According to E! News, one fan tweeted that Ray J was suffering from low self esteem. Kim responded by saying, "Or shows he's a pathological liar. You actually believe this story? It's too funny to me!"
Ray J did publicly deny his involvement, tweeting “I NEVER SAID NONE OF THIS- I’m focused on my new baby and my wife! Pls stop trying to tear me down.”
Ray J comes in fifth on the List Of Suck because he’s not the *only* reason the Kardashians are famous, and people need to stop buying into that narrative.
4. Younes Bendjima and Kourtney, 2016 - 2018
Who? Did we ever see Younes in anything but paparazzi photos? I get it, you want to have a private life and don’t want your every move documented on television. *PRO TIP REMINDER* don’t date a Kardashian! Not only was Younes a wet blanket, he was a cheating wet blanket! The story, according to TMZ, is that Kourt and Younes went on a long, romantic vacation together to Italy. Days later he went on another vacation, a “boys trip,” and cheated on her.
Of course, there are two sides to every story, and Younes’ side is "They really want me to be the bad guy. F*ck your Hollywood bullsh*t,” according to an article in Harper’s Bazaar. That’s not all, folks! He left snarky remarks on Kourtney’s Instagram pictures while they were going through their breakup. Kourt posted a picture of herself chilling in a thong bikini, as we all do, and Younes commented, “Thats what you need to show to get likes?”
Jealous much? Younes comes in fourth place because now that we see how happy Kourt is with Travis Barker, we see how sad she actually was while dating Younes.
3. Scott Disick and Kourtney, 2006-2008; 2009-2015
Sorry Skourt stans, this one is going to hurt a little. Should we start with cheating, the body shaming, or his proclivity for dating literal teenagers? Scott was so problematic. After receiving backlash for making fun of Kourtney's post-partum body, he tweeted “anyone who has to much to say probably had to much to eat #fatasses."
First and foremost, he used the wrong form of “too” twice, which is unacceptable for a grown man with children. And secondly, he’s now dating a twenty year old who has been vocal about suffering from an eating disorder. There are some Kar-fans out there that hope and pray Scott and Kourtney get back together someday, but, has Scott turned his life around? I’d say his bleach blonde dye job and very young girlfriends say otherwise. Scott ranks third because he still has major growing up to do, and if Kourtney wanted to babysit, she’d ask Amelia to come over.
2. Kris Humphries and Kim, 2010 - 2011
When you go back and watch Kris Humphries’ interactions with Kim, it’s actually unbearable. Kris did not jell with the Kardashians. He was rude, controlling, obnoxious, either talked over Kim or didn’t talk at all, which is probably why their marriage only lasted 72 days. It was particularly bad on Kim and Kourtney Take New York, when he forcefully tried to out Jonathan Cheban as gay on television by changing in front of him to “test him.” Middle school bully type of stuff.
Kris comes in second in the rankings because the only thing he didn’t do was cheat on Kim while she was pregnant with his child, which brings us to number one.
1. Tristan Thompson & Khloe, 2016 - 2018; May 2018 - February 2019; August 2020 - June 2021
Tristan Thompson is the captain of the douche canoe and he has paddled solo all the way to Terror Island. Khloe announced she was pregnant in September of 2017. Days later, the first images of Tristan cheating came out. Like, literal DAYS later. According to a report in Harper’s Bazaar, Khloe “went ballistic.” You have to have some balls to cheat on your pregnant girlfriend, not once, but multiple times!
When more videos surfaced of Tristan cheating while Khloe was in the hospital giving birth to THEIR CHILD, the world was ready to ship him to Gilead and put him on The Wall. Apparently not Khloe though, because she took him back. He then kissed long-time family friend Jordyn Woods, begged and pleaded through a two year pandemic to get back with her, and rumors continue to roll out of Tristan getting down with wannabe Instagram models every two months or so. The saddest part, we don’t even know if they are actually broken up or not. Tristan takes the top spot because you can google any month of the year, Tristan’s name, and “cheating scandal” and a different story will probably come up.
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