During the first half of Season 20 of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, I've noticed that Scott Disick has not one, not two, not even three, but five different Juuls. Why so many Juuls, you ask? Because there are many Scotts.
There's Sad Scott, Talentless Scott, Creative Scott, Fratboy Scott, and Stainless Steel Dad Scott. His different Juuls tell us about which Scott we're dealing with at any given time, which you have to admit, is pretty boss. And you thought the Khloe Kardashian bikini story was wild. Scott is sending us hidden messages with each puff, you idiots.
Our boy went from a wild, drunk, offensive asshole to a chill, lovable father of three who loves nothing more than lounging by the pool at the Malibu vacation house, waxing poetic about the beauty of California, and clutching one his many Juuls.
Ready to have your mind blown each time Scott blows his own with sweet, sweet, deliciously addictive chemicals? Enjoy.
The Blue Juul
Scott's love of the ocean is well documented in Episode 2 of this season (he talks about it for about two minutes, but with a lot of passion), but his love of Kourtney is somewhat more ambiguous.
In the photo above, we see Scott pair his Juul (next to his water glass) with the blue of the Pacific and maybe the blue of his emotions surrounding the dissolution of his most longterm romantic relationship.
The blue Juul signifies serenity, but also a cool sadness about what could have been if he'd been a better man during their time together. Also, where do you even get a blue Juul? Asking for a nicotine-addicted friend.
The Red Juul
Uh oh, Talentless is in the house. Scott's hair is slick, but his Juul is even slicker. Ooh, that Juul is red hot, just like the most recent Talentless drop (which looks not dissimilar from previous Talentless drops).
We see shades of old Scott here, he's ready to rock, but also now we see a refined confidence borne of fatherhood and... making sweatshirts, I guess? Both Scott and his Juul appear hot to the touch, but that doesn't deter me from wanting to poke his hair to find out what gives it such magnificent structure.
The Yellow Juul
Beard, flannel, a yellow-gold Juul. Yellow is the color of happiness, optimism, enlightenment, and creativity. Gold is the color of well, gold. Scott's happy and rich but that doesn't mean he can't wear a weird flannel from time to time.
Our boy Lord Disick has learned from his mistakes, and has become a much better, much richer, much hairier, much more disheveled man. And I for one am absolutely here for Yellow Juul Scott.
The Gray Juul
Looks like Scott's found a willing audience. His vibe seems to change a lot when he's around the fellas (except Tristan, they both almost cried about how beautiful Malibu is, I can't get over it.).
Between his gaudy Lord necklace, his seizure inducing shirt, and his gunmetal gray Juul, I can practically smell the Arctic Tornado Power Sword Old Spice wafting from his probably-groomed armpits.
You can imagine these two sharing intimate details about their most recent sub-25-year-old conquests. For the other guy, that's probably OK because that's Harry Hudson and he's only 27. But for Scott? Eh, also OK.
The Stainless Steel Juul
In this week's ep, the sisters get jealous of Kourtney's relationship with renowned TikToker Addison Rae. The Kard Squad invite Addison over for lunch, sans Kourt, and grill her about her life, family history, and possible lesbian tryst with their sister / daughter / ex-girlfriend.
At one point in time it was Scott who was in the hot seat about his relationship with Kourtney, but well well well how the tables have turned. Now Scott can sit in judgement because he's blameless, he's a teflon don, he's stainless steel.
His Juul conveys that his messes are easily cleaned up with one swipe of a Clorox wipe. Don't use anything too abrasive to clean: He's sensitive.
I'm excited to see if Lord Disick unveils previously unseen Juul shades in future episodes. Maybe a purple, or a black, or stripes, or plaid, like his flannel? So, Juul on, Scott! The health impacts of Juul consumptions are currently somewhat unknown, so don't ever change. Until your lungs or throat start to hurt. Maybe change at that point.
Read more...
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Images: E!/Screenshots