The end is near for This Is Us couple Toby and Kate. In Tuesday's episode "Saturday In the Park," Kate finally acknowledged that she and her husband just don't work anymore, and that despite her best hopes, their relationship is damaged beyond repair.
While it all came to a head when their young son Jack, who is blind, headed to the park alone due to Toby forgetting to lock the baby gate (and, if we're being fair, Kate neglecting to lock the front door) the end of this marriage was a long time coming. Sure, fans knew that Kate and Toby divorced after seeing Kate in a flash-forward celebrating her wedding to her current co-worker Phillip, but there were less obvious clues along the way that Kate and Toby might not go the distance. Here are some of the moments that, in hindsight, suggest this relationship was headed for the rocks.
Toby and Kate Weren't On the Same Page About Their Weight Loss Journey
Kate and Toby initially meet in a food addiction meeting, and Kate tells Toby that she refuses to "date a fat person," because she plans on losing weight. Toby, at the time, also wants to lose weight — until, well, he doesn't, and he goes off his diet. Kate breaks up with Toby because she doesn't think that she can lose weight, as she wants to do, and be with someone for whom that's not so important. Eventually, the two get back together, but what's interesting is that this issue never really goes away — it just kind of flips. Kate ultimately realizes that she is a person of value no matter what size she wears, while Toby gets really into fitness and becomes proud of his smaller body. This is seen in the most recent season when Toby is critical of Kate giving their son sugary snacks, and Kate reminds Toby that she has no interest in making her children hate themselves or feel weird around food like their parents have.
Toby and Kate Deal With Jack's Disability Very Differently
In Season 4, Toby starts sneaking off to go to the gym while Kate is at home with their young son Jack, and ends up making a new group of friends — one of whom hits on Toby. While Toby doesn't cheat on Kate, he ultimately explains that he turns to the gym in order to avoid being home so he doesn't have to think about the stress of raising a child who is blind. Kate, on the other hand, leans into being a mom, and even gets a job teaching music to students who are blind as a way to incorporate herself into Jack's world.
Toby's Humor Gets Meaner Over Time
In Season 5's "The Hill," Kate remembers the goofy Toby fans got to know in the first season of This Is Us, and says she misses that person. Honestly? Same. The Toby that we've seen on This Is Us of late is less comedic relief, and more snark — and all the Pearsons, not just Kate, notice the change.
Toby's Not Exactly Kevin's Biggest Fan
It's unclear when Toby started loathing Kevin, but it has become more and more obvious in recent episodes that Toby isn't his biggest fan. However, the resentment really started in Season 5, when Toby lost his job and became a stay-at-home dad. Toby resented Kevin having the ability to help Kate and Toby financially, and even lashed out at Kate's twin over a sushi dinner. It was a time of stress, but it's clear that Toby and Kevin haven't quite repaired their bond: When Kevin stayed with Kate following his breakup with Madison, Toby seemed absolutely miserable to have him in the house.
Breakups are hard — even when they happen on TV. However, let's be real with ourselves: This one was probably a long, long time coming.