We should have known that Blake's return to The Bachelorette would mean the return of his NSFW art. On Monday night's group date, Blake, Justin, Andrew, and Michael A. were tasked with creating an art piece based on their relationship with Katie, and to say he went for it would be an understatement. Tragically, we didn't get to actually see his painting, as the entire thing was blacked out by censors. So, what was Blake's painting on The Bachelorette? I did some digging to find out.
Unfortunately, Blake refused to release the uncensored image on Monday, despite fans demanding it on Twitter last night, but he did promise to reveal it one day in the future. For now, all we know about it is that it was definitely a graphic depiction of sex — "Being an unapologetically sexual person is OK," he said in a confessional — and that it was probably... not very good. (Sorry, Blake, but even you said that you had zero interest in art before diving into this competition, and the first thing you did was paint your entire canvas black. There's no way your painting wasn't just two stick figures rolling around. )
After the episode aired, Bachelor producer Robert Mills promised fans that he would reveal the uncensored version of Blake's art piece if he got the OK from the contestant himself. And Blake replied that he'd consider revealing the artwork and auction it off for charity. So, odds are we'll see it eventually. But I can't wait that long.
If Blake is going to drag his feet and refuse to show us his sexual masterpiece — entitled "Life" — then I am going to have to give fans the next best thing: my guess of what Blake's painting looks like in MS Paint. It's what he would want us to do.
The Fantasy Suite
While presenting his work to the group, Blake called it "a physical, visual representation of one of the most amazing, beautiful things that humans are able to do on a daily basis. Not a lot of species can do that." So he definitely painted sex, but he also called it "magic," which makes me think he was referring to love, the emotional component to sex that is, as far as we know, unique to humans. So, option number 1: the Fantasy Suite picture. I went for classic missionary because Blake might have wanted to show some sweet, tender loving in their future.
The Baby Making
Part of Blake's presentation was bleeped out, but it kind of sounded like he was talking about how babies are made, saying, "These [bleep bleep bleep bleep] are also the beginning of life." So, maybe he drew them having sex and making babies. Hey, weirder things have happened.
Katie On Top
This one's simple: they're having sex and hearts are coming out between them because of the love component I previously mentioned. I also think Blake seems like the type of guy who would think that drawing Katie on top would give her some sort of agency.
The Audience
If there's two basic things Bachelor Nation knows about Katie it's that she's open about sex and has a cat. Why not combine the two into one cringe-worthy painting?
May Katie and Blake continue to make NSFW art together forever.
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