To you, Connor B., the man who dared. In this pop culture day and age, it's been difficult to keep pawsitive. To feel seen in a world where the dogs are celebrated by the likes of Shaggy, Charlie Brown, and Barry Watson, and cats are left as nothing more than a footnote to Joe Exotic's throuple. Oh, woe is the existence of a cat right meow, chasing a dream and an elusive red dot in exchange for upvotes on TikTok. But are they laughing with us? Nay, they're laughing at us. At us — the unseen. The under-appreciated. The under-fed. (I haven't eaten in one whole hour. Except that one treat, but that doesn't count.)
We cats are starving. Starving for a courageous soul to tell our story. And try as Garfield, Socks, and Keanu might've, no one truly broke through to show the world our tears, and our fears (but mostly our tears), quite like The Bachelorette's Connor B. Salem Saberhagen walked so you could zoomie, Connor B.
So, Connor B., as your time on the show sunsets (because you're nocturnal, of course), know this: You came. (Well, not tonight.) We saw. And you a-mew-sed. And no matter how good you are at kissing, you're not leaving us hissing.
To the man who dared: Connor B., to us, you are purrfect. To you, we say: ksksksks. Knowing you made a difference, rest in power — for 12-16 hours a day.
Meow.