With the finale airing tonight, we’re already bracing ourselves for at least one brutal Bachelor breakup — but it won’t be the first time we saw someone’s heart shatter into a million pieces on our screens. The ABC show is all about romance, but it comes at the expense of about 25-30 breakups per season, and some of them can be seriously hard to watch, especially when the couples have already introduced each other to their friends and family.

But before we watch Matt James make his final choice between Michelle and Rachael (assuming he chooses one at all after that preview where he seems ready to quit the reality show), we’re reliving all the most brutal breakups from Bachelor Nation past.

12. JoJo Fletcher and Ben Higgins, The Bachelor

Ben will forever go down in history as the Bachelor who decided to tell two different women that he was in love with them, ultimately damning both relationships. While his breakup with final rose recipient Lauren Bushnell came later, he said goodbye to JoJo during the season finale of the show. He told her that he found love with her — but that he found love with someone else more, and the emotions that played across JoJo’s face were clear.

There are unwritten rules that come with being on this show, and one of them is that you only tell one person that you love them so that you don’t break anyone else’s heart more than necessary. The tension between Ben and JoJo in that moment, as he continued to tell her that he loved her, made it clear that she felt like she’d been played a fool on national television, and while she kept her tears to herself, her silence said it all.