There was a lot of teasing and tension in the Season 2 premiere over what exactly happened in Roy's retirement speech on Ted Lasso. And after so much buildup, there had to be some sort of release. Quite satisfyingly, that release came in the form of Keeley wanking off. In Episode 2, "Lavender," dear, sweet, horny Keeley revealed during a masturbation session that Roy's retirement speech was so damn stimulating to the world (and to her) because he broke down and cried.

Roy and Keeley are obviously the MVPs of couples on Ted Lasso. But they elevated their status in "Lavender" when Roy discovered Keeley "having a wank." Roy wants to know what video is getting her off and he's only upset when he discovers it's of him being emotional at his press conference. (He'd have preferred it if she had been watching videos of couples being free and having sex in the woods like he does.) He thinks he's pathetic in the video, she thinks he's passionate and vulnerable.... something, she claims he hasn't been since he stopped playing football.

When she says being vulnerable is brave — and compares him to Jamie Tartt (ouch) — he decides to try the football pundit gig. It goes well despite his many, many profanities. And for Keeley helping him help himself, Roy shows his appreciation by handing her his queued-up press conference with AirPods (this is an Apple show after all) and going down on her.