After many months of hallucinations, speculations, and flashbacks, Jughead's trauma in New York was finally revealed — and uh, there's absolutely no way any of us could have guessed what really went down all those years ago.

As it turned out, Jughead was absolutely fine following his encounter with the person driving the skeleton truck, suggesting that either we were totally wrong about the insidious nature of that particular trucker, or that they just murder women who work the Lonely Highway and not fledgling authors. Instead, Jughead finds his way to an alcohol abuse support group, where he tells the disturbing story of what happened to him after high school and on one fateful weekend in New York City.

Jughead, providing Bughead shippers everywhere with a much-needed win, reveals that he was pretty obsessed with his ex after their high school graduation breakup. He went to the Iowa Writer's Workshop, but didn't find himself making many friends. He turned to writing The Outcasts, which eventually scored him the attention of his agent, Sammy Pensky. Eventually, he moved to New York to make a go of it as a real writer, which is where he and Jessica fell into a dark romance built on drama and drugs.

Yet Jughead couldn't forget about Betty. He invited her to his book launch party, which, via text message, she told him she wouldn't miss for the world. Alas — and possibly because Betty had a boyfriend at the time, as suggested by the man sleeping in her bed — Betty eventually told Jughead she couldn't make it to the book launch after all. That led Jughead to leave that "toxic voicemail" (his words) while completely wasted.