Everything I'll Still Never Understand About 'Riverdale' — Even After All This Time

- Riverdale -
Everything I'll Still Never Understand About 'Riverdale' — Even After All This Time

The fifth season of Riverdale has barely begun, and yet, Wednesday's episode "Graduation" felt very much like closing a chapter. For the students of Riverdale High, it was — with the exception of Archie, all the main players we've followed for four years have officially graduated, never to walk through the hallowed halls as Bulldogs again. (Reader, I shed many tears.)

Every milestone marks a time for reflection. In the case of this writer, it reminded me that, as one chapter of Riverdale closes, there were still plenty of questions that were still unanswered. No, I'm not talking about the identity of the Voyeur/Auteur (obviously Jellybean but also, apparently, a hoard of kids sleeping under the boxing ring at Archie's gym?) or even what new mystery will bring the core four back to town. Instead, I'm talking about the little things that Riverdale hasn't quite resolved for me. The things that a casual viewer might spend little too no time obsessing over kind of keeps me up at night.

What can I say? I'm weird. I'm a weirdo.

Maybe you're just here for the Bughead and Varchie drama, or maybe you're still scratching your head about all the things that I'm still confused about on Riverdale. Here's what I still don't understand.

How Is Archie's Car Road Safe?

Image: The CW

Archie's beloved Jalopy makes an appearance in "Graduation," with Jughead, Betty, and Veronica using the vehicle to chase Archie's army bus down. Now, I know that the Jalopy is a nod to the always-breaking-down car that Archie drives in the comics, but uh, Archie Comics launched in 1939, and the Jalopy of Riverdale is still stuck in the '40s. Considering that Archie and Fred basically built this car from scratch — and it looks mere minutes away from its wheels falling off — I am shocked that no one has pulled Archie over for the safety of all Riverdale residents on the road.

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