Housewife drama comes and goes, but taglines are forever. The Real Housewives of New York Season 13 taglines have been released ahead of the premiere, and they may be teasing the drama ahead this season. (Also, there's a clear winner. Sorry, Sonja, but it's not you.)
In the clip released Monday, Luann de Lesseps, Leah McSweeney, Eboni K. Williams, Ramona Singer, and Sonja Morgan take turns twirling around in their best dresses and delivering lines that are equal parts devastating and hilarious. From Lu's insistence on being the most glamorous Housewife to ever live to Eboni's cutting tagline debut, there's a lot to discuss. So let's rate them in a game I call, How 'Bout Them Apples (aka, how many apples, out of five, did the tagline earn.)
"Of all my vices, being glamorous is one I'll never give up." — Luann
How 'Bout Them Apples: 2 out of 5 apples
It's fine. Luann is the embodiment of Housewives glamour, or so she thinks, so I'd expect nothing less from her. But previous seasons' taglines that have referenced her relationships with the other women (the lower level) or the law (we all know that one) have definitely been stronger.
"I'm sex positive and B.S. negative" — Leah
How 'Bout Them Apples: 4.5 out of 5 apples
Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show-stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique...
"I may say the wrong thing, but my intentions are always right" — Ramona
How 'Bout Them Apples: 2 out of 5 apples
Ramona's tagline sounds like she's already apologizing for the entire season. And based on the Season 13 trailer, some of that trouble will probably involve Eboni, the first Black New York Housewife.
"I've had to work twice as hard for half as much... but now I'm coming for everything" — Eboni
How 'Bout Them Apples: 5 out of 5 apples
Eboni is owning being the first Black Housewife of New York with her tagline, and I am here for it. RHONY has such an established cast — Sonja, Ramona, and Luann are basically Housewives franchise royalty — so to see a newcomer coming out with such a strong tagline that establishes that she'll be anything but a friend of is refreshing.
"Just like New York City, Sonja Morgan never goes out of style" — Sonja
How 'Bout Them Apples: 1 out of 5 apples
I hate to say it, but Sonja's tagline this season is just plain boring. It is the epitome of "listens to Taylor Swift's 'Style' once" energy. I appreciate her tying herself to New York, but the city is also literally in the title of the show, making it utterly unnecessary.
Who has the best tagline of the bunch? Let us know what you think in the comments.
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Image: Sophy Holland/Bravo