If Dan Humphrey can be Gossip Girl, then truly anyone can. And the first trailer for HBO Max's Gossip Girl reboot is full of potential suspects. Granted, there's still a lot we don't know about the new Gossip Girl — some characters introduced in the trailer haven't even been officially identified yet — but based on this trailer alone, I've already got a few ideas on who this new Gossip Girl might be.
The lives of Manhattan's Elite has changed quite a bit in the last decade. Without Blair and Serena to rule the steps of the Met, their queen bee status has been inherited by Julien (Jordan Alexander), a wannabe influencer who invites new girl Zoya (Whitney Peak) to join her friends, kicking off what is sure to be a season of betrayals, secrets, hook-ups, lies, and fashion the likes of which no non-famous teenager could ever dream of wearing.
The first Gossip Girl trailer introduces the major players — Julien, her boyfriend Obie, her minions Monet and Luna, her BFF Audrey, Audrey's boyfriend Aki, bad boy Max, and outsider Kate — and it could be that Gossip Girl is a character we haven't met yet. Still, given the original Gossip Girl reveal, it's likely that the new Instagram stalker is someone in this group, or at least someone adjacent to it. Based on what we've seen so far, here are my top suspects, ranked from least to most likely.
8) Julien Calloway
Julien is the most threatened by Gossip Girl, so logic says it's not her. But since when has anything super rich teenagers do been logical? As played out as it might be, I could totally see a world in which Julien, suffocated by the pressure to be NYC's It Girl, plotted to sabotage herself and those around her by starting Gossip Girl. Think of it as a cry for help, a destructive way of her asking to be allowed to be just a normal teen and not a baby celebrity.
7) Zoya Lott
If we go by precedent, then Zoya, aka this reboot's Dan/Serena combo, is the most obvious Gossip Girl choice. In the trailer, it looks like Gossip Girl is using their power to pit her against Julien, which could be Zoya's twisted way of getting close to the popular kids. But, honestly, I don't really think Gossip Girl would repeat the sins of the past. Then again, maybe that's exactly what they want us to think...
6) Luna La
Always keep an eye on the minions! Luna doesn't really do much in the trailer except support Julien and give off a slightly disgusted, but unaffected vibe, which is exactly why she's a top suspect. Her position in the group gives her an ideal spot from which to gather everyone's secrets. Plus, she's seen in the trailer whispering into someone's ear, the universal sign of gossip. Just like Zoya, I kind of want to dismiss Luna as a possible Gossip Girl suspect, which is exactly why I'm putting her on the list.
5) Monet de Haan
Monet, another one of Julien's friends, is also a prime suspect. She's got pretty much the exact same position as Luna in the friend group, but she's got way more disapproving looks in the trailer. Why so grumpy, Monet? Plus, the official Gossip Girl Insta described Monet as wanting "power." Who's more powerful than an all-knowing anonymous Instagram account?
4) Beck From You
Hi Beck! You actor Elizabeth Lail appears briefly in the GG trailer sitting next to another unnamed character who seems to have a close relationship with Julien. This puts her adjacent to all the action. Julien seems to be the character in Gossip Girl with the most to lose from the gossip website, meaning whoever Gossip Girl is, they're probably close to her, or have a few well-placed sources.
3) Max Wolfe
Max Wolfe is clearly being positioned as the new Chuck Bass (though hopefully minus all the attempted rape), and while the O.G. Chuck was way too busy plotting business takeovers and seductions to be Gossip Girl, Max seems like a good multitasker. He also just looks like a man who thrives on chaos. In the trailer, he's hooking up with everyone in sight, and I mean, just look at those eyes. He's a chaos monster.
2) Audrey Hope
There's something about Audrey. Despite her longterm relationship with Aki and her status as one of the popular kids, she seems sad, almost trapped. Aki, for one, seems to be not really gelling with her sexually, and she just seems a little bit removed from it all, almost like she's observing it, not living it. It's the perfect Gossip Girl recipe. Plus, she's seen stirring the pot between Julien and Zoya in the trailer, reminding J, "She is a stranger who has found herself in your friend group."
1) Kate Keller
My top pick so far is Kate, who barely appears in the trailer, which in and of itself is a huge tell. She's been described on the Gossip Girl Instagram as kind of a loner, but she's still included in Julien's "friends since birth" group, which could mean that she doesn't really feel accepted. My guess is she's not as rich as the others — note the cardigans and her (gasp!) riding public transportation — and that outsider/insider status, coupled with her strong ambition, might be motivating her to lash out at Julien and her friends. Anonymously. On Instagram. (Admittedly, I also just really enjoy the meta aspect of making Kate, played by Rookie Mag founder Tavi Gevinson, Gossip Girl.)
Who do you think Gossip Girl is? Let us know in the comments! And don't forget to tune in when the show premieres on July 8. XOXO.
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Image: Karolina Wojtasikq