In celebration of HBO Max's Gossip Girl reboot bringing the late 2000s teen soap into the world of Instagram and Twitter, I have decided to give the show another modern update: reddit. When the O.G. Gossip Girl started in 2007, Reddit wasn't nearly as mainstream as it is now, which is a shame, because the subreddit AITA (Am I The Asshole?) is basically made for Gossip Girl. But what would a Gossip Girl AITA reddit thread look like, you ask? Take a look and tell me I'm wrong.

AITA For Sabotaging My (16F) Academic Rival (16F) With Flo Rida?

Throwaway cause I have an image to uphold. I have always dreamed of going to Yale University for undergrad. I've worked my entire life to get perfect grades, excel at extracurriculars, and run the social scene at my school. But all of that is threatened by an academic rival, who also wants to go to Yale. Yale is very exclusive and only accepts one student from our high school a year. I knew that her boyfriend had broken up with her at a Flo Rida concert, so... I downloaded a Flo Rida song, used it to get her to open up to me about her ex, and surprised her with a visit from her ex the night before the SATs. I know the timing wasn't great, but I really thought I could hep her and help myself.

The morning of the SATs, my rival showed up for the test, clearly upset from her night with her ex. I went to comfort her, and she dropped her calculator. I picked it up and gave it back, but kept the batteries. I say all is fair in love and war and college admissions, but my BFF says I'm being an asshole for sabotaging my minion on her SATs, even though she can take the test again next year if she wants to. And, nothing's stopping her from getting into the other Ivys. Isn't this what NYU was invented for?

Anyways, I think I did what I had to do to get my spot at Yale. This is what it takes to be at the top, but my friend is still pissed. So, AITA?

AITA For Making A Sex Tape With My Ex... Without Him Knowing?

My ex (21M) has been dating my BFF/enemy (21F) for a little while, but I know that she's only dating him because she wants me to be jealous of her for once, and she's in denial about still being in love with her trash ex. So, when I saw that they were kind of on the rocks, I decided to take matters into my own hands. I made sure that my BFF/enemy wouldn't be able to come to this party we were all invited to, and I hooked up with my ex. We were getting dressed when he picked up my phone and saw that I had filmed the entire thing. I wasn't going to release the tape or anything. I was just planning on showing it to my friend to prove to her that she was in love with her ex, but my ex ended up freaking out and running away.

I know our hookup didn't start with the best of intentions, but it reminded me of how good we were together, so I went to see him later and told him I deleted the tape. I wanted to see if he might be willing to give us another shot, but he said no. I know it wasn't cool of me to film him without asking, but I didn't force him to hook up with me, so why is he making me feel so guilty? AITA?

AITA For Trading A Night With My Girlfriend For A Hotel?

OK, this sounds bad, but trust me, it sounds worse than it is. My uncle (30s M) has been trying to destroy me (18 M) and the empire I have been trying to build. He pushed me out of my hotel, which was everything to me, and offered me one chance to get it back: give him one night with my girlfriend (18 F). I know that she would do ANYTHING for me, so I agreed, but I couldn't ask her to do it. So, I told my uncle how to get her to come to him. I knew if he told her his offer, and I acted like I had refused, then she would offer herself to him to help me. I know, it's bad, but it worked! She got him to hand over the hotel, and she actually didn't even have to spend the night with him. Win-win, right?

But when she found out that I had set the whole thing up, instead of being relieved that I already knew she had cheated on me, she dumped me! She told me she'd stand by me no matter what, and now she won't answer my calls. I think we both fucked up — I traded her for a hotel, and she almost slept with my uncle — so I don't get why we can't move forward together. AITA?

AITA For Trying To Hook Up With My Friend (16F) After I Generously Made Her Grilled Cheese?

I (16M) ran into an old friend (16F) in the bar of a hotel my family owns. She was drinking alone, so I joined her. She said she wasn't in the mood to talk because she'd been drinking on an empty stomach, so I generously offered to take her to the kitchen to have the cooks whip up a grilled cheese just for her. She accepted, and seemed really happy with the gesture. So, after she got her grilled cheese, I quietly told the kitchen staff to leave and started kissing her. She started pushing me away, but not hard enough that I really thought she was serious. I thought she was playing hard to get, so, I tried again, and she kneed my family jewels and ran out of the kitchen like I was the one doing something wrong?!

She was tipsy and hungry, and I helped her out. Plus, I know for a fact she has no trouble hooking up with guys in public spaces — I saw her have sex with her best friend's boyfriend on top of an empty hotel bar last year — so I don't get why was she acting like such a prude. AITA?

Before you peasants reply with your lectures on consent, just know that I'm only posting this because I lost a bet to my best friend and I have too much money to care what any of you have to say. Fuck it. I'm Chuck Bass.

AITA For Exposing Everyone's Secrets On An Anonymous Website For 6 Years?

I (22 M) have secretly been running a website exposing the lies and secrets of Manhattan's elite teenagers for the past 6 years. In my defense, when I started, I was just a lonely Brooklyn boy writing about Upper East Side rich kids with more scandals than they knew what to do with. It just kind of spiraled out of control. Now that we're adults, it's causing more and more trouble, and I think it might be time to call it quits. But I'm worried I'll lose my girlfriend — who I outed multiple times on my site — and all of my friends if I come clean. How can I tell them without having them write me off forever as the asshole?

Maybe AITA wouldn't have kept Nate, Blair, Serena, Chuck, Dan, Jenny, and Vanessa from making huge, life-changing mistakes. But it might have saved them a few hangovers, at least.

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Image: HBO Max