A rite of passage in adulthood is slowly becoming disillusioned with your favorite TV characters. When you look back on them, you begin to question the choices they make and see them through an adult lens, rather than an idealized childhood one, and before you know it, you're writing an article about the terrible decisions Rory Gilmore made on Gilmore Girls.
Most of us started out loving the Stars Hollow golden child turned prodigal daughter; the bookish Chiltonite was an optimistic go-getter who dated cute boys and had a fun thing going with her mom. She even had a cool thing going with her grandfather! Fun times all around!
But then, we grew up, and started our re-watches, and yikes. Some of Rory's choices feel so egregiously bad that it's a wonder I didn't seem them upon first viewing.
Here are Rory's 11 worst decisions.
1. Taking Too Long to Break Up with Paul
Rory shouldn't have been dating period because she didn't even have a handle on her sense of self. In their two-year (!) relationship, she always forgot Paul's name, broke dates with him, and strung him along while she was secretly sleeping with Logan. Her forgetfulness of Paul was a running gag in the revival, but Rory is known for being careful and thoughtful, and she really tossed that side of herself away in that relationship.
2. Dragging Marty to the Chinese Dinner with Logan and His Pals
Rory was really trying to smooth over her relationship with Marty and make sure he knew that she valued his friendship, even if Logan was the guy she wanted to be with romantically. She planned a whole Marx Brothers movie marathon for just the two of them. But as soon as Logan showed up, she coaxed Marty out of their plans to go to dinner with him. Plus, this was dinner with Marty's bullies, and Rory selfishly put him in an extremely uncomfortable position.
3. Ignoring Lane
Lane was already calling out Rory for never making time for her back in Season 1. She put school, Dean, her grandparents, everyone else before their friendship. And sure, as time went on, Rory went to Yale out of town and grew closer to Paris, while Lane got together with Zack and had twins (which is a whole other discussion of Lane's devolution of a character arc) and yes, friends do grow apart over time.
But in later seasons, Rory never made time for her Day One friend ... who was still on the show. If they wanted them to stop being friends, just write her out! Not make Rory basically not give a damn about her except on occasion when she rolled back into town and decided to call her! Unacceptable, Rory.
4. Sleeping with Wookiee
People sleep with random people. It happens all the time. But overly responsible and professional journalists like Rory, on the other hand, do not sleep with potential sources while on the job. Big mistake. Huge.
5. Having a Secret Affair with Logan
Their whole mantra during the revival was, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas." But really? They're both 32 and should know better. Logan was engaged to a French heiress and Rory was still dating Paul/Patrick/Pete. They should've just broken off their relationships and dated each other if that's really who they couldn't stop thinking about all along. An unneeded series of mistakes.
6. Comparing Herself to Martin Luther King, Jr.
I mean........
She was kidding thinking that her joyride on a yacht could in any way be compared to a civil rights activist's fight for social justice and human rights, right?
7. When Rory Acts Like She's Entitled to Every Job Opportunity
Watching Rory navigate her job offers and meetings in the revival is an exercise in cringe. And that was a purposeful choice by the creators, as journalism is a tough industry right now. Mitchum Huntzberger even warned her of the business she was getting into back in Season 5.
But the way Rory thinks every job is owed to her, like she's better than all of them? It's a continual reminder that she needs to eat a large slice of humble pie. Knocking SandeeSays for being three steps under GQ and thinking she would just be handed an editor role? Dismissing a tenured job offer at Chilton because she thinks teaching is below her? Her ideas of what work life is don't mesh with her reality, and her pride keeps getting in her own way.
8. Letting Mitchum Huntzberger Get the Best of Her
Logan's family is made up of agitators and snobs. But the big inciting incident of Rory's huge downward spiral near the end of the original series was her boyfriend's dad and "big-time publisher" telling her she hasn't got the guts to be a journalist. In the moment, that could hurt, yes, but Rory should have told him to stuff it and done her own thing anyway.
9. ... Because That Led To Stealing a Yacht and Dropping Out of Yale
I don't think taking time off of college was the big mistake, but, again, she shouldn't have let Mitchum send her on a rampage of dejection. Her life didn't end because one pompous man knocked her off her game for a moment.
Rory was so used to hearing that she was exceptional that she assumed everything would continue to be easy for her. But that's not how the real world (or you know, the real world within this fake show-world) works. She needed to buck up and realize that just because she's privileged, she'd be cradled. That's not life; that's shelter.
10. Not Talking to Lorelai
Rory doesn't do well when Lorelai disagrees with her choices. (Probably because if Lorelai thinks something's wrong, then it probably is.) When Rory runs off to Europe with Emily after sleeping with Dean and effectively cuts Lorelai out, that was Strike One. But then again after she moves in with her grandparents after Lorelai bailed her out of jail when she stole the yacht, that was Strike Two. We never got to Stirke Three, but Rory and Lorelai are the Gilmore girls, and when Rory would lose sight of that, she was only doing herself a disservice.
11. Sleeping with Dean
He was not your Dean, Rory. He was married. And Dean is equally to blame. End of discussion.
I know in the original run and in the revival Rory is still trying to figure things out, and in that process of self-discovery, mistakes are bound to occur. Obviously. But still, many of her choices were just ... bad. And because she'd been built up as being so smart and thoughtful, I think a lot of us, when watching as adults, just expected more from her. Lorelai expected more from her. And that's what made her bad decisions all the more disappointing.
Was I too harsh? Or, rather, are there any of Rory's lapses in judgment that I left out? Lemme know in the comments.
Image: Netflix screenshots