Ranking The Wigs On 'Firefly Lane' — From Mildly Embarrassing To Nightmare Fuel

- Firefly Lane -
Ranking The Wigs On 'Firefly Lane' — From Mildly Embarrassing To Nightmare Fuel

Netflix's Firefly Lane is a decade-hopping soap that takes viewers on a tour through the fashions of the groovy '70s, the colorful '80s, and the... well, the extremely boring early aughts. And while I thoroughly appreciated seeing Katherine Heigl and Sarah Chalke rocking shoulder pads and earrings the size of their heads, it seems the wardrobe department spent so much money on bell bottoms they completely ran out of funds for the wigs. Which is a shame, because there are a lot of wigs in Firefly Lane, and all of them are bad.

However, the wigs are not equal in their badness. In fact, there's one horrible wig that rules over all of the less offensive wigs, and if I could toss it into Mordor myself, I would. Look, I am not an unreasonable person. I know people did obscene things to their hair in the '80s, but even when you take into account the sheer amount of hairspray the average human used in 1984, the wigs are still comically bad.

And while I could simply tell you which wig made me scream "My eyes!" over and over again for 50 minutes, it's so much more fun to show you all of the hair faux pas Firefly Lane committed along the way, ranked from mildly embarrassing to pure nightmare fuel.


College-era Kate has the least objectionable hair on the show. This subtle look is natural-ish, and if it commits any hair crime at all, it's that its a little too safe.


Here Kate appears to be rocking minimal hairspray and soft waves, but she's really just easing viewers in before she goes full Farrah Fawcett later in the season.


All hail Mrs. Malarkey, the chain-smoking '70s mom who is too cool for her dad joke-cracking husband. Her wig isn't too bad, it looks soft and I'm digging the curl at the bottom, but the bouffant looks like it's been added on from another hairstyle entirely.


There really is only one hairstyle that's appropriate for your brother's mid-'80s wedding: a curly side swept ponytail with feather bangs.


Ignore Kate here, I'll get to her in a minute. Just focus on Tully's relatively low-key waves, because this is the best poor Heigl's past hair will look all season.


Tully's wedding hair is... something. The style would be fine if it wasn't so stringy, which is not something I thought I would ever have to say about Tully's hair in Season 1, because this woman is all about volume.


Young Sean's hair isn't good by any stretch of the imagination, but it is a mostly believable shaggy '70s cut that a teenage boy of the era could conceivably have worn, so it gets a few points for authenticity at least.


Alright, buckle up, kids. Things are about to get wild from here on out. In this scene, Tully and Kate seem to be rocking the exact same wig in different colors. It's a bold choice, sure, but it's just a taste of the badness to come.


So, it seems in college, Tully decided she would chop off her long '70s locks and put a completely lifeless wig on her head in hopes that no one would notice until her hair grew back.


Is this a lady mullet? I think this is a lady mullet.


And on this very special episode of Firefly Lane, Tully and Kate will wrap headbands around their wigs to make them look even less realistic than usual.


Oh, Kate. I can get behind a bit of Fawcett hair, but I cannot abide this lank wig and its 12 inch long bangs.


Here Tully is celebrating finally getting to go on air, while her hair is having a full on existential crisis. Is it over hair-sprayed? Has it just never been brushed? Is it supposed to be curly or wavy (or both)? I have so many questions, and so few answers.


Kate takes one look at Johnny and falls madly in love with him in this episode, proving once and for all that love as blind... at least to bad toupees that appear to have been surgically grafted to your crush's head.


If nothing else, you at least have to admire the fact that Kate cosplayed as Robin Sparkles at her own baby shower.


Oh, Carol. Not only is she a stereotypical local news anchor, her wig looks like it was borrowed from an SNL sketch set in the '80s.


There's only one storyline I want to see in Firefly Lane Season 2, and it's the backstory for why super serious newsman Johnny sports the hairstyle of a wannabe hair band member.


This is clearly a witch wig from the discount section of the Halloween store, and you won't convince me otherwise, Cloud.


Yes, I'm shocked that Johnny's wannabe Fabio hair isn't the worst wig the show has to offer too, but just you wait...


In the early '80s, Sean's life is going nowhere, and he's generally a man in crisis. But that is no excuse for him to murder an innocent ferret and then wear it on his head like a psychopath. Which is clearly the only explanation for this truly terrifying wig that somehow makes the otherwise handsome Jason McKinnon look like a Lifetime movie serial killer. Have some respect, Netflix! This man is a Hallmark Christmas movie regular, and his beautiful hair did nothing to deserve such inhumane treatment.

Firefly Lane has plenty going for it, including the natural chemistry between its leads, but the show's wig game is need of a serious upgrade before Season 2... especially if Kate and Tully are finally going to enter the '90s.


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Images: Netflix

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