Remember when we all wondered how Carrie Bradshaw could afford that one-bedroom Upper East Side Apartment, and countless pairs of shoes, on a writer's salary? Well, Emily Cooper of Emily in Paris sees your Manolos, and raises you beaucoup Chanel.

In Netflix's latest release, our title marketing strategist spends just like she closes a deal: confidently, and often. So how much money exactly does Emily waste away in Emily in Paris? I couldn't help but wonder, so I crunched the numbers, episode by episode. Spoiler alert: it ain't pretty... but Emily's wardrobe certainly is.

Episode 1

We only got to see Emily's Chicago roots for a few minutes in the pilot, so her U.S. costs are low (especially when they were likely added to her boyfriend's tab). That said, we do see her later with at least three suitcases that required checking — and, with the sheer amount of Chanel stuffed in, you know they exceeded that 50-pound weight limit.

Presumably, Emily's relocation costs were likely covered by Savoir. But the biggest expense until Episode 2's shopping spree (more on that later) is Emily's fifth floor walk-up. Though it's impossible to tell what the old housekeeper's abode cost exactly, furnished 1-bedroom listings in Paris' 5th arrondissement — where Emily's rental is theoretically located — point an average cost of €1,500 per month. Let's break down the rest.

Even with exposition to set up, Emily in Paris makes sure to give us the French food porn experience we're looking for, with baked goods, and, distressingly, the only view of cheese we get for the entire series.

And then we must broach (ha) the fashion. Oh, the fashion! Though this article would be, well, as long as this article if I were to try to tally up the price tag of all of Emily's 52 outfits, let's make an assumption based on our title character's first fashion choice at Savoir, and pad the budget a bit (since we know Emily loves her layers and accessories):

Emily has six outfits in the pilot, and though I'll discount her workout wear and pajamas by 75% (due to the lack of accessories), that brings her Episode 1 clothing total to $31,162.50.

Oh, and don't forget one more thing:

Episode 1 Total: $33,267

Episode 2

Emily's credit card bills are a series of highs and lows. There are the highs, like her Episode 2 shopping spree (during which she, again, distressingly avoided purchasing cheese at the market):

But, don't worry — Emily still eats. In Episode 2, she attends a party, where she grabs hor d'oeuvres and wine like they're flapjacks, but that's likely gratis, a perk of the job. (Same with the glass of wine she has with Sylvie later in the episode.) Her first proper meal at a restaurant, though, is one that she sends back (le gasp!) to the chef, who happens to be Gabriel.

But it's not all fun — Episode 2 also starts to give us a peek into the demands of the job, which require an iPad:

And, of course, let's not forget the fashion — once again, Emily goes through six outfits. One already discounted outfits (her pajamas) we've already seen, so her clothing costs equal four outfits, plus one discounted workout outfit, or $29,431.25.

Episode 2 Total: $35,991.25

Episode 3

In Episode 3, Emily severely ups her wine game. Her carb intake really should keep up. Here are her food totals:

As easily as she takes down a bottle of Bordeaux, though, Emily chokes when it comes to the language in Paris. So, in Episode 3, she takes at least two lessons, which, according to EF, could cost $850 per week.

For the sake of her credit this episode, we'll assume that her rental covered the cost of a plumber to fix her shower, but, of course, there's still the matter of fashion and accessories. She wears seven outfits in Episode 3, but one is a repeat (le gasp!), one is a robe we'll discount at 90% is athleisure we'll discount at 95%.

And, of course, there's one final food item, cheekily delivered to Emily's co-workers:

Episode 3 Total: $29,850.25

Episode 4

Phew. Thank god for Episode 4. Emily's spending softens as she attends more work events (art gallery wine and Gabriel's dinner were likely covered by generous corporate cards), and only has three (three!) changes of clothes.

Episode 4 Total: A thrifty $20,806!

Episode 5

The most unique expense in Episode 5 was Emily's visit to the Van Gogh exhibit at Atelier des Lumieres with Gabriel and Camille:

No, wait — the most unique expense was when Emily accidentally ordered a coffee and croissant with condoms ("préservatif" in French), which, with condoms costing just €0.10 a pop, would have actually been cheaper than her actual food order with Mindy:

The rest of her Episode 5 budget? Alcohol, of course. And, in this half hour, she only got freebies from Durée.

And, no, I didn't forget the fashion:

Episode 5 Total: $20,893

Episode 6

The majority of Emily's Episode 6 expenses were light food items she probably got for free, courtesy of her overtly snobby date who definitely would demand to pay for everything:

Until...

And...

Episode 6 Total: $34,997.50. Oof.

Episode 7

Emily focuses less on her extracurriculars while trying to impress Savoir by courting a Hollywood star, leading to cocktails and shots at free company events. But she still leaves time to imbibe with friends:

And, by now, you know you're in for more than a $50 episode:

Episode 7 Total: $27,747

Episode 8

You would think an entire destination episode to Camille's family home would mean a cheap couple of days for Emily. But she pulled out her pocketbook plenty before driving off to the champagne chateau:

Then things get a bit confusing. Though it's presumed that Camille's family paid for the entire meal (and Emily's tour of the winery was free), Emily did volunteer to go to the market (a trip we never saw) to pick up ingredients for the coq au vin. Let's assume she did indeed contribute to the dinner, and, at the very least, split the price for gas on the estimated 121km drive between Paris and champagne country.

This total, however, doesn't account for whatever consequences Emily might face for accidentally having sex with Camille's underage brother, and then sharing his prowess in the bedroom... with his mother.

And, of course, clothes! Emily boasted six outfits in this episode, but we'll discount a pair of pajamas 95% and some cozy knitwear 90%.

Episode 8 Total: $36,109.25

Episode 9

Emily learns first-hand that art is pain when Grey Space destroys her Pierre Cadault original... but it's also quite inexpensive, if you reap the benefits of corporate accounts. One could assume a likely $20 glass of champagne with the Louvre executive at Ralph's in Paris was expensed, and Mathieu probably picked up the tab for Emily's crepe. So, Emily lives free and cheaply!

Until, of course:

Episode 9 Total: $34,625

Episode 10

Based on the evolution of Emily's wardrobe, one can assume she spends at least 35 days in Paris during the series' first season. So, that means, in the show's final episode, we trigger rent, once again.

Clearly, Emily needs to wash that amount down with plenty of vino:

And sing it with me now: Fa-fa-fa-fucking expensive fashion:

Episode 10 Total: $36,417

Final Tally

Drumroll, please...

$310,703.25.

Considering, according to Glassdoor, a digital strategist nets an average $77,647 per year, and we know that Emily's mother is a math teacher in the Chicago suburbs — and not a Kardashian or Kennedy – her pocketbook is going to burn out faster than her Hitachi Magic Wand.

Seems like Emily will need to down that reality with another bottle of wine. And I, after all this math, shall join her. Cheers!

Images: Netflix