An Investigation Into 3 ‘90 Day’ Relationships That Were Doomed From ‘I Do’

- 90 Day Fiancé -
An Investigation Into 3 ‘90 Day’ Relationships That Were Doomed From ‘I Do’

Raise your hand if you watch TLC’s 90 Day Fiancé because you love a love story. Now raise your hand if you watch the show because, like Marie Kondo, you simply love mess. Most (if not all) of us fall in the later category, and the powers that be behind franchise know it. After all, they’re the ones who threw that cheeky little question mark in the title for the spin-off series 90 Day Fiancé: Happily Ever After?

But while many of the couples really do find their forever person, others seem destined to fail from day one. In light of all the bad omens at Stacey Silva and Florian Sukaj’s recent wedding on Darcey and Stacey, I decided to take a look back at some since-divorced stars’ nuptials and see if the signs were there all along.

Jorge and Anfisa

Way back in Season 4 of the flagship series, Jorge Nava and Anfisa Nava (née Arkhipchenko) first introduced themselves to fans. The couple, then 26 and 20 years old respectively, tied the knot during the season finale, but they split in 2020 after more than three years of marriage. According to In Touch Weekly, Jorge first confirmed he and his wife were done in March while he was serving time in prison for a felony drug conviction. In August, he officially filed for divorce, but most fans were surprised this pair lasted as long as they did.

Did a rocky trip down the aisle predict the wreckage of their relationship? Let’s roll the tape.

Following a season full of family drama, property damage, and financial fights, the day that Jorge and Anfisa would be bound in holy matrimony finally arrived. Though the bride hoped to one day have a big ceremony and reception, she agreed to let the courthouse suffice so that she could get her green card application started. While she was viewing it as a practical next step forward they were taking exclusively for legal reasons, her soon-to-be husband had stars in his eyes.

“I’ve been ready [to spend the rest of my life with you] since day one,” he told her, smiling. She frowned, looked him up and down, then turned back to the camera. So you can tell they were off to a great start.

As the day progressed, Jorge said he was “happy, excited, nervous” — pretty much the whole positive spectrum of emotions. He knew that he and Anfisa had troubles in the past (to put things lightly), but he loved her. “The heart wants what the heart wants,” he said, all but admitting that his head knows that this marriage might be a bad idea. Further compounding that, he decided to hide the news from his family (so that no one can stand in their way).

He thought the 90-day visa deadline was putting pressure on their relationship that will be relieved once the clock is no longer ticking. Anfisa didn’t seem to see it that way. She may have been about to marry Jorge, but she was still waiting for him to propose properly, and she was fully aware that their vows would be more of a formality than a celebration. “Being married is not going to instantly make us argue less or more, or make us more or less happier, but I feel like I’m ready to do it,” she said.

The less-than-romantic atmosphere was compounded by the fact that they were driving to the courthouse in Jorge’s work car, which was home to some building equipment that created a literal barrier between the bride and groom. Anfisa was frustrated that her fiancé didn’t break out his “cool car” for the special occasion or book a limo, but her man said he “just didn’t have time” after working earlier in the day. They fought about it and both ended up rolling their eyes, and things got even more divisive when they tried to focus on the happy occasion.

“It’s just going to be a big relief that we don’t have to deal with the 90 day pressure anymore. Like, now it’s not going to be a matter [of] if you’re leaving or you’re staying. You’re staying … if you want,” Jorge said.

“What if I don’t?” Anfisa asked.

The groom assured his bride that he had “no doubts” that their marriage will last forever, but she was happy to help plant the seeds for some right off the bad. She asked if he thought he can keep her happy enough, then told him he should vow to buy her bags and shoes before they signed their marriage license.

But once they were actually in the courtroom, the Russian beauty did finally start to tear up, and the camera zoomed in to capture the proof that she actually has feelings (hopefully positive) about getting married. She was all but weeping by the time they exchanged rings, and when they kissed to seal their vows, it was clear there was some love there.

That happy moment didn’t last long. As soon as they were outside the courthouse, she was pestering him for not getting emotional like she did, and she was already putting this wedding out of mind so she could focus on her next one. They drove off, the PVC pipes still a plastic wall between them.

Colt and Larissa

Season 6 stars Colt Johnson and Larissa Dos Santos Lima’s short-lived marriage was fraught not only with interpersonal conflict but with legitimate legal intervention. The police were called to break up their fights on more than one occasion before the Las Vegas native filed for divorce just seven months after their June 2018 wedding. In May 2019, their split was finalized, but they continue to costar (and clash) on Happily Ever After?, where Larissa may or may not have slammed her ex-husband as a bitch with no morals.

Their engagement, like their marriage, was similarly rocky. The day of their wedding, Colt was excited to get married but aware that they had kind of skipped a few steps in their hurry to tie the knot. Mom Debbie Johnson was similarly apprehensive, but trying to be supportive now that she and her future daughter-in-law. “I think Colt is making the decision he believes is right … for now,” she said.

Another decision he thought was right? Reinviting cousin John Maymoun to attend the ceremony after Larissa told him that he wasn’t invited during a contentious family barbecue. Colt knows he wants to spend the rest of his life with his bride, but he also knows he wants his family to be part of that. Instead of having a conversation with his future wife about it, he’s decided to just spring it on her once it’s too late for her to do anything about it. Communication is clearly not key with this couple.

One thing the couple were on the same page about was the fact that their relationship had pretty much been put through the microwave, to borrow a phrase from the Bachelor franchise. “90 days is nothing,” she told cameras. Despite that, she was eager and excited to be a bride. After getting all glammed up, she put on her Goodwill gown and hopped into a limo to head over to the ceremony. But not everything was sunshine and rainbows.

Larissa felt conflicted about where she and John had left things, and regretted the fact that Colt was isolated from his only family in Vegas. She didn’t feel bad enough to reach out and invite John, but she did expect that he might make a surprise appearance. She warned the camera that if that “little snake” showed up and attacked her, she would be ready to fire back — which is pretty much what Colt dreaded happening (and what he could’ve avoided by giving his bride a heads up).

“I need someone who will be an adult with me and a partner,” he said, essentially admitting that he feels like he’s wedding someone that he doesn’t know for sure has the ability to become that person. He also deliberately designed a situation in which his partner might feel attacked on the day they begin their marriage, so there’s that, too.

Luckily, Larissa was only upset with John, not with Colt, when she walked down the aisle. And once she was standing next to her groom, she’s not upset at all. “When I look at Coltee, I realize that the more important [thing] is that I feel really happy and completely in love,” she said.

The officiant assured the couple that neither of them are supposed to be perfect, they just need to be perfect for each other. Whether they were or not remained to be seen (but, spoiler alert: they weren’t), but both Larissa and Colt were determined to enjoy their day. Though Larissa gave John the cold shoulder after the ceremony, she actually managed to give his wife a hug. Despite that, the day ended on a sour note.

A shot of the newlyweds riding away in the limo looked more like the end of The Graduate than Cinderella. After initially smiling and holding hands, both bride and groom ended up staring forlornly out separate windows as Larissa admitted in a confessional that something happened — something that could prevent her from staying in the country with her new husband.

An additional scene revealed she’d actually been arrested a few days prior after Colt called the police during an altercation, and facing charges meant the threat of deportation was now hanging over her head. They may have had their wedding day, but the couple was no longer guaranteed any time together.

Baby Girl Lisa and SojaBoy

On 90 Day Fiancé: Before the 90 Days Season 4, Baby Girl Lisa, a.k.a. Lisa Hamme, and SojaBoy, a.k.a. Usman Umar, became something of a sensation — and the American reality star even found herself embroiled in a fake feud with A-lister Chrissy Teigen. Despite that, the drama didn’t lend itself to love longevity. Per ChampionDaily, Lisa said on The Domenick Nati Show in July 2020 that she heard her husband had filed divorce papers, but she had yet to receive them. Regardless, their relationship fell apart almost as soon as their wedding aired on TV.

Let’s check out the big day itself.

The couple first woke up together on the morning of their wedding after having a huge fight the night before. Though they managed to reconcile before going to bed, affirming that they still wanted to get married, SojaBoy claimed Lisa “embarrassed him in front of his elders.” But their tense few weeks in the hot Nigerian sun (which the bride blamed for their bickering) seemed to disappear as they got all dressed and ready.

By the time the groom was showing off his wedding day ‘fit for his bride, he was beaming — and so was she. After that, it was Lisa’s turn to pull on the gown SojaBoy’s tailor made just for her. Her fiancé seemed enamored as he zipped her into the dress and then insisted on snapping a photo on his phone. “African queen,” he dubbed her.

The pair hopped in a car and rode over to the marriage registry building where they would be tying the knot. The ceremony had come together too fast to plan a traditional Hausa wedding, and there was no time to postpone considering Lisa would be flying home to Pennsylvania the very next day. Instead, they simply gathered their friends and family at the official government building. SojaBoy led his bride inside by the hand, but in a confessional he admitted that he was worried his brothers would try to put a stop to the whole affair.

As the magistrate took the bride and groom through their vows, they were both smiling, but they were pretty much the only ones in the room to do so. SojaBoy’s siblings looked less than happy to be there, and so did his mom. Once the ceremony was over, his relatives made it clear exactly how they felt in confessionals as they addressed the camera.

“I’m not happy with the marriage,” one of the rapper’s brothers said. “I pray for them,” he added, though it hardly sounded like the kind of hopeful sentiment you share with a set of newlyweds.

SojaBoy’s mother had an equally grim attitude. “Even though he brought in a white person, in Sokoto, when a mother marries out her son, she expects his wife to deliver two kids in three years,” she explained. She didn’t say anything more, but she didn’t need to. Her, “You think this woman is gonna pop out two kids in the next three years without a time machine?” face said it all.

The reception later that evening was lively and festive as the men danced around. Even Lisa was having a good time watching the men dance, though she wasn’t allowed to join in herself. But it’s worth noting that there were two guests missing from the event and, yep, you guessed it: SojaBoy’s brother and mom “weren’t feeling well” and decided to skip the celebration. Even the brother who did attend was still pretty wary about the whole thing.

“Seeing my brother and Lisa get married today, I can’t tell whether they will be having issues or not,” he said. “But I pray that they will live a very good life.”

But as the night came to a close, SojaBoy had one last surprise for his bride, and that was a song. The crowd cheered and sang along as he serenaded Lisa, but while the newly married woman beamed, we couldn’t help but wonder if it really was just all about the music.

The Takeaway

So is the proof always in the party? Jorge and Anfisa had the most grim affair by far, but their relationship also lasted much longer than anyone expected before it went up in flames. Larissa and Colt looked as in love as any bride and groom on their wedding day, but that didn't stop a dark cloud from hanging over head once they'd pledged to love each other forever. And SojaBoy and Lisa clearly had a blast at their bash, but that didn't make any of their existing issues go away.

It's not clear if these couples were doomed from the second they said "I do." What we do know is that their relationships started circling the drain long before they ever walked down the aisle.

Images: TLC screenshots

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