How Do I Politely Leave a Group Chat?

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How Do I Politely Leave a Group Chat?

Kelly Conaboy is writing an advice column for Dipp readers. It's going to be very serious. So serious, in fact, we named it Very Serious: An Advice Column by Kelly Conaboy. Just email her at kelly.conaboy@gmail.com with whatever's bothering you and each week, Kelly will solve one lucky reader's biggest problem. You can read all of Kelly's excellent advice here.

Dear Kelly,

What is a polite way to leave a group chat? I’m in a very active one that I rarely participate in (friends, not family) and want to leave but I don’t want to seem dramatic.

-Lynn


Lynn,

A few years ago I had a friend who would abruptly leave group chats whenever she got mad at the rest of us. It led to all sorts of side chats ("aw come on, come back!") and fuss. That little notice that someone has left can be the text-based equivalent of storming out and slamming a door. And it can be very, indeed, dramatic. I appreciate that you’d like to avoid that aspect of your group chat exit, Lynn. And I believe you can.

The thing about an active group chat you’d rather not be in: even if you have the chat on mute, seeing that little text bubble number getting larger and larger can be distracting, as can the somewhat wack-a-mole-like desire to clear it. And if you’re one of only a few group chat members, and you are, like you said, a rare participant, it’s possible you’re being called on to respond to certain things. (I believe the introduction of the ability to “ping” people within group chats is one of the more demonic Apple inventions as of late.) “Hey @Lynn what did you think of that touchdown?” “Hey @Lynn do you think we’re finally going to get to see Jen Shaw’s arrest in this episode?” “Hey @Lynn what are you having for dinner?” “Hey @Lynn hello are you there?” I want to leave this group chat, too, Lynn, even though I just invented it.

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