In 2021 we are in a weird place when it comes to our lil Pumpers. Half of them got fired, the other half had COVID babies and it's like... last season of Vanderpump Rules was terrible. We were waterboarded into thinking that Jax Taylor and Brittany Cartwright were some cute couple who made it through all this adversity to be together, but no ma'am! For three years leading up to the wedding, Jax cheated on Brittany and called her lazy and fat. No thank you.
In 2019 and 2020, it just felt like the producers and the cast were treating us like some dumb idiots who would just believe anything they put in front of us. But they quickly learned, that was not the case.
Since last year, Stassi Schroeder, Kristen Doute, and Jax have been fired, which leaves us with Ariana Madix, Scheana Shay, Lala Kent, James Kennedy, Raquel Leviss, Katie Maloney and the Toms Schwartz and Sandoval. But where does that leave us, like, as fans. I wanted to know.
So I asked all of you and you responded.
ARE YOU A FAN OF SCHEANA MARIE SHAY?
YES: 7% (2, 464 votes)
NO: 93% (31,097 votes)
Where I Stand: I am not her biggest fan, but I love her flaws. They bring me laughter, giggles, and make me cringe in the best way. I am always rooting for Scheana, she has her new rainbow baby Summer Moon Honey. Summer Moon Honey. What a name. A STAR WAS BORN. Also, I mean she has continuously given us so much in her tenure as a Pumper. Her marriage with Shay; her mess of a relationship with Rob Valletta; her adoption of the penguin for that bootleg Ryan Gosling. God I love her.
WILL KATIE AND SCHWARTZ LAST?
YES: 38% (13,068 votes)
NO: 62% (21,022 votes)
Where I Stand: First of all, I am shook by the amount of you who voted yes. I was prepared for a landslide, "no" but wow, we got a lot of people rooting for love and that is sweet. Dumb, but sweet. I also, got a lot of DMs of people saying the only reason they voted yes was because they think Katie and Tom are too lazy to get divorced and honestly, I get that.
DID YOU SEE MOMMY BLOGGER/PODCASTER IN STASSI'S FUTURE?
YES: 56% (17,470 votes)
NO: 44% (13,934 votes)
Where I Stand: Listen, I honestly didn't see this coming. I honestly think that if she was still on the show she would be less inclined to take this new career path, but since her life kind of hit the fan last year, it makes more sense. Call me an idiot, but I expected this more from Scheana, and she is fully fulfilling my expectation there. I mean, the baby speaks in third person on its Instagram. But Stassi? She and Beau are doing a podcast called "The Good, The Bad, The Baby" and I don't know what to make of that. Sigh.
ARE YOU A FAN OF LALA?
YES: 44% (15,112 votes)
NO: 56% (19,224 votes)
Where I Stand: I was her biggest, loudest champion when she first set foot inside that dump (SUR). I was rooting for her. I loved the strong woman who stood up to the Witches of Weho, who didn't give a fuck if you saw her tiddies. Then she fell in with the "cool girls" and lost her damn mind. She became a mean girl and teamed up against Ariana and Scheana, who were the only nice people to her in the beginning. It just kind of left a bad taste in my mouth. Now that she's left without two-thirds of the witches in the upcoming season, I'm curious if she will come back to Ariana with a tail between her legs. Last season they left on a bad note, and Lala was incredibly rude and dismissive to my queen and it just was soooo.... who do you think you are? Let me remind you.
WAS TOM AND ARIANA'S FURNITURE WORTH THE WAIT?
YES: 55% (19, 969 votes)
NO: 45% (16, 429 votes)
Where I Stand: I fucking love it. Yes their house looks the same as Katie/Tom's and Jax/Brittany's on the outside, but on the inside it unique, warm, and so them. It's not like a standard grey and white color palette with shiplap via Joanna Gaines. It's funky, eclectic, and cool. I get how it's not everyone's fave, but I'm just happy they went a different route.
DO YOU WISH YOU COULD RELIVE THIS MOMENT FOR LIFE?
YES: 90% (30, 010 votes)
NO: 10% (3, 401 votes)
Where I Stand: This will be playing at my funeral, know that.
WAs LAURA LEIGH AHEAD OF HER TIME?
YES: 80% (25, 771 votes)
NO: 20% (6, 490 votes)
Where I Stand: This bitch is a living legend. She was way ahead of her time and I am just going to think 6,490 of you accidentally clicked "no" because what!? She cussed everyone out, booked her job, and stood up to Jax within in like, 10 episodes. I lived for this tiny little tot.
WERE THESE TWO AN ICONIC COUPLE?
YES: 64% (21,105 votes)
NO: 36% (12,083 votes)
Where I Stand: Truly Kristen was the queen of chaos. Anywhere she touches turns to a mountain of mess, and I loved watching it. Not saying these two should have worked it out by any means, but damn. The toxicity! I loved it. When he spit on her door? Take me back!
DID JAX GET OFF TOO EASY FOR CHEATING ON BRITTANY?
YES: 98% (36,022 votes)
NO: 2% (555 votes)
Where I Stand: I mean, I think I can speak for everyone when I say, yes he did. This man betrayed his future wife and did it next to an old woman and yet Faith was the villain? That is some backwards shit if I ever heard. His dad passed away after they filmed that season so I feel everyone kind of just went easy on him then he proposed and it threw a blanket over the whole situation. I get it but also, Jax continuously shows his ass and I don't like it one bit.
WAS GIGGY EVER ALIVE?
YES: 36% (11, 987 votes)
NO: 64% (21, 430 votes)
Where I Stand: You all are fucking hilarious. I am glad this went over well because it was a little edgy, but damn you did not fail me. Giggy was a corpse from day one. This dog was a Build-A-Bear and you can't tell me different.
DID TOM CHEAT WITH MIAMI GIRL?
YES: 89% (30,710 votes)
NO: 11% (3,934 votes)
Where I Stand: I am embarrassed. When I first watched this, I was fully anti-Tom-fucked-Miami-girl but now, now I am a seasoned woman of the world and I can promise you this girl and Tom had a lil tryst in the bathroom of their Miami hotel. First of all, the fact Kristen got this girl to fly out to confront Tom in a Baublebar necklace, props to her. Also, Tom fled the scene like a bat out of hell. So, hate to say this about my Sandyboi but he definitely fucked Miami girl.
SHOULD SCHEANA AND SHAY HAVE TRIED TO WORK IT OUT?
YES: 30% (10,150 votes)
NO: 70% (23,862 votes)
Where I Stand: I honestly go back and forth. There was a lot of love there, but I think too much probably went down to be able to salvage anything. Scheana doesn't strike me as someone who will be there through thick and thin as long as it is an inconvenience to her. And I say that fully loving Scheana. But also, Shay, don't drain your wife's bank account. They would have to hire Dr. Drew, a shaman, or Dr. Amador to figure out their issues and I don't think either one wanted to work on it to be honest. Best of luck to Shay.
WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON?
STASSI: 62% (20,875 votes)
SCHEANA: 38% (12,770 votes)
Where I Stand: Historically speaking, Stassi is more in the right when it comes to her issues with Scheana. I think these two are truly just two very different people who just don't vibe. I don't think they just hate each other, they just live on different planets. I will kind of miss seeing them try to interact with one another, though.
Overall, I am pleasantly surprised by the results of the poll. The fact 21,000 people voted that Giggy was never alive will forever bring me joy and giggles. Bless you all.
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Images: Bravo