Is it just me or was Monday night’s episode of The Bachelor legitimately hard to watch? For most of the first hour, I was hiding behind my hands as this year's contestants were asked to write — and then read aloud — real person fanfic involving themselves and Matt James as inspired by Chris Harrison’s own surprisingly sexual novel. Things seemed to get better in the second half of the show as the lead invited Serena P. out for a one-on-one, but they quickly took a turn for the worst again when some drama that had been brewing all episode began to boil over. Yep, I’m talking about the Bachelor's Sarah situation.

Last week, Sarah was one of two girls to snag a one-on-one date with Matt. If you’ve been watching this show for a long time, you know it’s not always a gift to get that first intimate date. While it can work out for contestants who manage to keep their heads, it’s just as often a trap for those who are more prone to insecurity and overthinking.

If you get a one-on-one date that early in the competition, you develop an intense relationship with the lead before anyone else has a chance to — but you might have to wait until hometowns to get another shot at an actual date. That leaves you sitting in the side lines as all the other contestants take their turn on solo outings and fighting for five minutes during a cocktail party, all while insisting they need that time more than you because you already had your one-on-one.