Ranking The 'Bachelor in Paradise' Cast Descriptions, From "Still Hot" To "Bro In Box"

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Ranking The 'Bachelor in Paradise' Cast Descriptions, From "Still Hot" To "Bro In Box"

When you think of the Bachelor franchise as one big family, Bachelor in Paradise is very much the wine-spritzer drunk aunt at Christmas. And we love her for that. Another Arbor Mist, please! The show is self-aware, self-deprecating, and truly just as in on the joke as we are.

One way the show has always had fun with itself and its cast — besides the opening credits — are the cast members' descriptions under their names. Gone are the days when we've described cast members as "27 year old" and "Attorney." No, now Bachelor in Paradise is using this screen space to respectfully drag the contestants the same way we at home are doing on Twitter each Monday and Tuesday night.

I'd like to formally petition that whomever is writing those descriptions deserves a raise. Until then, I did what any rational person would do and decided to track and rank all of the funny, unusual descriptions. Let's get into it.

17. Kelsey, Champagne Girl

Kelsey will forever be immortalized as a funny meme. Not a bad legacy to have, to be honest.

16. Victoria, Goddess

The Queen is dead, and reborn from her ashes is the Goddess.

15. Demi, Demi God

A humbling (and kind of shady) moment for the recurring Bachelor in Paradise contestant. Especially when you have a goddess in your midst.

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