Ok. So I lost it a little bit this episode. Truly, deeply, lost my god damn mind. If you're looking for a structured, eloquent episode, keep scrolling. If you are looking to immerse yourself in the ramblings of a woman who walked only 57 steps yesterday, then look no further. I truly became unhinged because men really have the ordacity.

First, I start off Hot Off The Mess with some cute and fun alleged engagement rumors about the oldest Zolciak-Beirmann child Brielle, then quickly dive into the Kylie Jenner pregnancy announcement, which was supposedly announced by none other than Caitlyn Jenner during what looked to be a a "campaign" trail stop. Because, yes Caitlyn is unfortunately running for Governor of California, along with Vicki Gunvalson's boyfriend, Steve Lodge. A mess. The money I would pay to be in that family group chat while they discuss how the fuck to handle this untimed announcement. You know they had it all planned out, and/or wanted it to be a secret til the bambino finally made its debut.

I also bring up Bachelor nation and it's there where I lose my marbles. Dean Unglert and Caelynn Miller-Keyes don't say I love you. I'm sorry but if I'm living in a van for this man, he better kiss my dusty toes and say I love you with every breath he takes.

And of course, I couldn't help but bring up Nick Viall and his condescending "dating advice." This man is on a reformed-fuck-boy high horse, and I'd like to throw him off of it. Maybe I find him triggering, I don't know. But ok, I do find him triggering. Who am I kidding. Why are pretending men who can identify a feeling are suddenly the ones we should be looking to for dating advice? No thank you!

See? Unhinged, unwell. Self awareness is key.

Thanks so much ZocDoc for sponsoring this episode and making this unhingedness possible.

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