All hail the King of Summer. Kyle "summer should be fun" Cooke was brought into this world on Aug. 4, and by God if you didn't know that after watching any season of Summer House, I don't know how to help you. There is nothing more fun to Kyle Cooke than his birthday... except maybe drinking, which he does a lot of on, you guessed it, his birthday. Which is why every year, Kyle (and by Kyle, I mean the Bravo production team on Summer House, because there's no way he's paying for all that himself) has a big blowout birthday bash.
Although we will have to wait until 2022 to see this year's party — which is sure to be a certain level of epic now that people are vaxxed and waxed — with Kyle's birthday quickly approaching, we thought it'd be fun to rank his birthdays past.
Which Kyle Cooke party was the best? Let's take a walk down birthday lane.
5. "Mullet Paradise," Season 1
In this season, all we got were wigs. The cast put on mullets, sang happy birthday, took shots, and danced on the kitchen counter. This is basically like any other weekend in the Hamptons on Summer House. It's a nice gesture for anyone who likes a a low-key birthday, but for our boy Kyle Cooke, this was lame by all accounts.
4. "Monte Carlo," Season 3
Kyle and the crew decided to keep it classy in Season 3 with a Monte Carlo-inspired night, Ferraris and all. Don't get me wrong, your girl loves getting dressed and being (OK, pretending to be) fancy. But again, while I personally would have loved this soirée, for the guy whose signature phrase is "SEND IT," this party seemed a little low energy, ranking it only fourth on our list.
3. "Restaurant," Season 5
What is one to do during a pandemic? With the entire cast living and working together for a full six weeks in their own little quarantine bubble, a huge bash was off the table. That being said, I think Amanda put so much thought into creating a "restaurant type" experience for Kyle. She even roped in the whole house to play "roles" at the restaurant. The whole night felt really special, and it was far better than Lindsay's backyard birthday with Stravy, therefore ranking right in the middle of our list.
2. "Animal House," Season 4
Since Season 1, we have all know Kyle as a frat star stuck in a 37-year-old body. Therefore, the obvious choice for his birthday this season would be a good ole' fashion frat part. I mean, who doesn't love a solid toga moment? The production budget must have been raised this year because they even had goats. FREAKING GOATS 🐐! This might be Kyle Cooke at his peak.
1. "Boston Tea Party," Season 2
A revolutionary warship bounce house? An inflatable thrown? Steven as the Queen of England? Need I say more? This party ranks top of my list not only due to the ingenuity of the theme, but the fact that these drunkards literally DUMPED TEA INTO THE POOL. I think we can all objectively say that this was idiotic, embarrassing, and brilliant at the same time.
Image:Bravo