Reggie's 'Riverdale' Mullet Is A Crime Against Humanity

- Riverdale -
Reggie's 'Riverdale' Mullet Is A Crime Against Humanity

When it comes to Riverdale, there are many things I can forgive — Barchie's rushed hookup, Jughead's mustache, guidance counselor Toni seemingly out-ranking the principal of Riverdale High — but Reggie's new hairdo is where I draw the line. We need to talk about Reggie's mullet on Riverdale.

Reggie Mantle's post-time jump look was revealed on Wednesday night's episode, "The Homecoming," and it is... something. In fact, it might just be the worst thing Riverdale has ever done in its entire run. And that is including:

  • When Archie was attacked by a bear in the middle of the woods — AND SURVIVED
  • When Mrs. Blossom forced Archie, Veronica, Betty, and Jughead to reenact the Hunger Games for her own amusement
  • When Kevin had his kidney stolen by The Farm and nobody ever mentioning it again
  • When Mrs. Blossom became a prostitute and had an affair with the Black Hood, aiding and abetting his killer crimes.
  • When Archie started the Red Circle
  • When Betty's dad turned out to be The Black Hood
  • Chic and Charles's serial killer love affair

Don't believe me? Just look at it, and then answer me this: What could we have possibly done to deserve such a travesty?

Raise your hand if you feel personally victimized by Reggie Mantle's mullet. 

Now a Hiram Lodge stooge, Reggie has gone full mafia. He's in charge of the Mayor's private security force and is supporting Hiram's mission to destroy Riverdale once and for all. He's traded in his letterman jacket for a pinstripe suit because he's officially a Grown Man With A Job In The SoDale Mafia — a completely understandable shift and something LinkedIn ask you to congratulate him on. But the mullet? There can be no possible justification for this crime against hair — nay, against humanity.

There's no denying that Reggie has a truly luscious head of hair, and I am not opposed to him rocking those locks. But the styling, with the gallons of gel leading to undoubtedly crunchy curls in the back, is just way too pre-2005 Blake Shelton.

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