- Riverdale -Charles' Secret On 'Riverdale' Is Revealed & Yet, No One Should Be Surprised
There is no such thing as a "normal family" on Riverdale. Instead, it's a sliding scale of chaos. Betty's family slid just a little bit further towards the "maple syrup incest dynasty" side of the spectrum in Season 5's "The Preppy Murders," which revealed that — surprise! — yet another member of Betty's family is a serial killer.
It really should come as no surprise to viewers that FBI agent Charles is a shady, shady dude. While I, personally, had hopes that Charles' prison rendezvous with murderous Chic was just a way for him to get some intel on whatever the FBI needed that week, it turns out that Chic and Charles are as in love as they are insane.
Oh well! Why should Charles raise the bar for the Cooper clan, anyway? After this Season 5 episode, every single member of Betty's family has proven themselves to have more than a few skeletons in their closet, of the literal variety. In case you need a refresher on what I mean, here's how everyone in Betty's immediate family is responsible for too many murders. (Assuming "none" is the appropriate number, of course.)
We were all rooting for you, Charles. Well, OK, I was rooting for you. Alas, it turns out that Charles was oozing with serial killer vibes since his Season 3 introduction because he was an actual murderer.
Yes, Charles is really Betty and Jughead's biological half brother, and just like Betty, he was cursed with the "serial killer gene." Technically, monoamine oxidase A (MAOA) is a real thing, and has been linked to aggressive behavior, but it's not like everyone who has it is the subject of a My Favorite Murder episode. Alas, for Charles, that serial killer gene meant he inevitably would make murder a side hobby.
In "The Preppy Murders," Charles declares that he is responsible for the killings of Jughead's Stonewall Prep enemies Bret and Joan, as well as David, the owner/resident creep of Blue Velvet Video. Technically, it was Chic who killed Bret — but that was all on behalf of the FBI agent, who, apparently, has been getting away with this sort of thing for years.
What makes Charles stand out from other serial killers on this show is that he has a moral code: He only kills really bad people. The Preppies are certainly bad people (they tried to kill Jughead, and really killed their friend Jonathan, but for some reason no one wants to talk about that second thing) and David was pretty chill about screening snuff films to teenagers. However, as Betty points out in the episode, Bret was already in prison for what he did to Jughead — Charles didn't have to get double justice.
Falling in love with her cousin was not the wildest thing Polly did on Riverdale. What was? Joining The Farm, a cult that took Polly under their wing during her pregnancy with twins Juniper and Dagwood.
In Polly's defense, the girl suffered some serious trauma when her parents locked her away at the Sisters of Quiet Mercy in order to hide her pregnancy (with her cousin Jason Blossom's babies) from the world. However, that doesn't totally excuse the fact that she willingly helped Edgar Evernever harvest organs, tried to manipulate her mom and Betty into cult indoctrination, and also almost Jonestown-ed all the Farmies.
Technically, did Polly kill anyone? Not that we know of. But if she didn't, it was not for lack of trying.
Alice's blind spot for Chic (who she thought was her biological son) was what led to her covering up a murder. Chic's shady drug dealer came over to the Cooper house to square off with Betty's faux brother, but ended up attacking Alice in the process. Naturally, Chic killed him (though it's unclear if Alice also got a swing in) and Alice, in order to protect her son, covered up the crime. Fortunately, she had the help of F.P., Betty, and Jughead, but also, like — being an accessory to a murder makes you a murderer in the eyes of the law, no? What is the Cooper clan doing?
And speaking of Chic... While he's technically not related to the family, his relationship with Charles kind of, sort of makes him a brother-in-law figure, no? In addition to murdering the shady man in front of Alice — and making her clean up his mess while grifting her into believing he was her biological child — Chic also had a gig moonlighting as the Gargoyle King for Penelope Blossom, during which he helped poison a slew of Gryphons & Gargoyles players. Oh, and while it wasn't exactly his idea, he killed Bret while in prison as a favor to his boyfriend Charles.
Somehow, Hal does not have the serial killer gene, even though, when he was alive (Penelope Blossom was the one who finally did him in during season 3) he loved to talk about how much of an iconic murderer he was.
As the Black Hood, Hal murdered Ms. Grundy, Midge, a drug dealer called "The Sugar Man," and Dr. Masters. It was a relatively small body count, considering the Black Hood's looming presence over the show. Then, during the season 3 prom, Hal seemingly kills a lot of Riverdale High students. We see many bodies piled up as he chases Betty around the school and it is gruesome. The problem? Exactly who these victims are is never quite discussed — it's so quickly brushed past that it's almost like this massacre never happened at all. I guess we can assume everyone survived their wounds?!
The one good thing about Betty's family members racking up a body count? Betty's never surprised when she learns someone else she loves is seriously twisted. She barely flinched upon learning the truth about Charles, probably because the bar was already so, so low. Hopefully college reminds Betty that actually, it's not normal to be able to count how many people your parents and siblings put in the ground.
Images: The CW