So much can be said in 34 words. A love poem, a grocery list, and Erika Girardi's divorce text to the RHOBH cast. On Wednesday's episode, the Pretty Mess herself sent a pretty messy text to her friends revealing her divorce with then-husband Tom Girardi after their Tahoe trip. And I'm just gonna say, I don't buy that bullshit text for one minute.

Timestamped at 9:15 a.m., the text read:

Ladies, I truly consider you my close friends and this is why I'm reaching out to tell you that I filed for divorce this morning. Thank you for supporting me. This will be tough.

Let's talk this through shall we?

First of all, the timestamp. The clerk's office for the Pasadena Courthouse, where Erika would presumably be filing at, opens bright and early at 8:30 a.m. As @bravobybetches noted, Erika must have been eagerly waiting for that clock to turn for her to officially file, despite the positive things she said about Tom just days before. Point: Strategic.

Then there's the "Ladies." I get that Erika is from the south, and therefore has manners I — someone who has only lived in New York and Chicago her whole life — may not possess, but the use of "Ladies (comma)" reads more like a formal letter than a text to, what we'll soon get to, your closest friends. Point: Too formal.