Welcome to Pelo Talk, where we'll consistently update every now and again with articles and thoughts that relate to Peloton. In this column, journey with Watch What Crappens host Ben Mandelker as he rides along with Leanne Hainsby. Previously, Ben rode with Denis Morton, and begrudged every pedal of the way.

With the United States opening up again after months of pandemic quarantine, I’m slowly embracing my old routines: eating in restaurants, going to… places, doing… uh… activities? Okay, I really don’t have routines now that I think of it. But there is one ritual I sorely miss: Love Island UK. We’ve gone ages without a new season, and in the absence of photogenic Brits teaching me cool new slang, I’ve turned to the next best thing: a Peloton ride with England’s own Leanne Hainsby.

Specifically, I’m embarking on a 20-minute '90s ride from May 25. Leanne comes to us dressed in a yellow top and red-patterned tights. In other words, she’s giving serious ketchup-and-mustard vibes, which I don’t totally appreciate, given my attempts to refrain from burgers and fries.

Leanne announces that this ride is, “Music first! So I want you to turn that music up today! I want you to be living your best '90s dream right now!” I so deeply resent when instructors start a ride with these lies. First of all, it is NEVER music first. It is pain first. Always. Anytime a Peloton instructor says we’ll be “having fun today!” just know that they are deceitful and evil.