When Netflix dropped the entirety of the Twilight saga on its streaming service this weekend, I did what any other well-reasoned, normal, and slightly bored Millennial would do — I canceled all of my plans ("plans") and binged it in one sitting. And while those previous five words are probably means enough for a deep, therapeutic unpacking, I'm hear to discuss another revelation I had about one irrevocable love deep into the franchise. I'm not Team Edward, like I once was, anymore. But I'm also not Team Jacob. As a now rational adult, I can confidently say both men/wolves/immortal creatures are, in fact, the worst.

I really love love triangles. I also love anything involving teen drama. Are the two attractive main characters in the deepest most dramatic love despite only being 17-years-old? Sold. Is one of the teens willing to become a vampire for her boyfriend after knowing him for only a few weeks? I'm in. Given these details I look for in my teen dramas, you would think I would love the whole Edward vs. Jacob storyline. And once upon a time, dear reader, I did. I really did. But now, revisiting with my pubescent-teen-rose-colored-glasses smashed and somewhere in the back of my closet with my Bella-inspired Prom Converse, I have to ask... how the hell was this ever even a discussion?