Ranking Emily’s Love Interests In ‘Emily In Paris,’ From The Book Snob To The Chicago Boyfriend

- Emily in Paris -
Ranking Emily’s Love Interests In ‘Emily In Paris,’ From The Book Snob To The Chicago Boyfriend

Although Emily in Paris is very much about Emily Cooper's career and the trials and tribulations that come with bringing "the American perspective" to a French marketing firm, it wouldn't be a Darren Star show (he's the man who brought us Sex and the City and Younger, you know) without a few love interests for our protagonist.

And man, Star did not disappoint. Love interests in Emily in Paris are like pâtisseries in a French bakery — they're everywhere, they're pretty to look at, they may or may not be good for you, and every so often, you get one you don't like. Nobody likes a surprise marmalade filling and nobody likes a two-faced asshole. It's just science. So, c'est la vie; it's on to the next.

And the next. And the next. And the next next next next next. Throughout the series, Emily meets seven love interests (in 10 episodes, a pretty good ratio) that vary from charming to snobby to underage. (Don't worry, we'll definitely get into that.)

Below, a definitive ranking of The Seven Love Interests Emily encounters, from worst to best. And yes, I include Camille's brother. (Warning: Spoilers for the entire season follow.)

7. Thomas: The Snob

Emily meets this guy at a cafe while drinking a glass of wine and she's reeling from being called a "basic bitch" by Pierre Cadault. It was a pretty scathing moment, so I forgive her for letting her defenses down, but she truly couldn't have picked a more pretentious asshole with whom to have a one-night stand.

Thomas is a professor who scoffs at reading books on iPads and doesn't "make love" to women who don't own their own books. (He loves books, you guys.) After sleeping together after the aforementioned cafe, Emily jokes to Camille that he "could have been a murderer" for all she knew.

She laughs at that, but I would argue he is a bit of a murderer — a murderer of fun (and honestly, maybe even a murderer of people... I don't know what this dude is up to on his off-hours).

7th Place: He's mean to Emily's friends, condescending to Emily herself, and doesn't like Swan Lake? Is that a joke?

6. Doug: The Chicago Boyfriend

At first Doug seems promising. When Emily shares the exciting news that she would be moving to Paris for a year, he puts up little-t0-no fight. In fact, he is enthusiastic about her new adventure, maybe even too enthusiastic... What are you hiding, Doug?

It doesn't take long for Doug to go from supportive partner to State-side loser, though, when he tells Emily that he is not coming to visit her the day of his scheduled flight. He is genuinely like: "I DON'T FIT INTO YOUR SPREADSHEETS, EMILY."

When he tells her she needs to move back home to Chicago, she doesn't like that — she's in the city of love! And chocolate! And small hats! So they break up and Doug is never spoken of again. So much for that money he must have spent expediting his passport.

6th Place: He's not as bad as The Snob — maybe long-distance is hard for him! — but he's also not great. Unsupportive, uninteresting, and FaceTimes without headphones — pass.

5. Antoine: The Client

I don't know if this one even counts, but there was lingerie involved and some longing looks, so I'm throwing it in the mix.

Antoine — a.k.a., "the master nose of Maison Lavaux" as he's hilariously called at one point — sends Emily lingerie even though he's sleeping with Sylvie, while married to, well, his wife (who is not Emily or Sylvie).

Emily tells him it's an inappropriate gesture, even though he lives by it just being "the Parisian way." Either way, never gonna happen.

5th Place: I am kind of rooting for him and Sylvie so Emily (and his wife) should really back off.

4. Timothée: The 17-Year-Old

I'm going to take Camille's lead in terms of how upset to be about this specific storyline, since it wasn't my brother. (Her family was eerily chill about it.) Is it a case of mistaken identity? Perhaps. Did he exclaim at the breakfast table in front of all of his family that he "bites too hard"? Oui. Did he have more chemistry with Emily than half of the guys on this list thus putting him in 4th place? I think the number speaks for itself.

4th Place: I didn't like it but I also didn't hate it until his mom asked Emily if he was a good lover. Siri: how do you say "therapist" in French?

3. Fabien: The Painter

Emily meets Fabien at the not-so-intimate dinner party Mindy throws in her honor. It's actually a rager but luckily, Emily connects with Fabien who may just be a better French teacher than Emily's actual language teacher who said Emily had to pay 50 euros an hour to get a glass of wine with her outside of class.

While he may be a good teacher, Emily isn't exactly into his language of love. When he tells her that he likes "American pussy," the date — if you can even call it that — is over quicker than you can say "wait is that orange marmalade in my pastry."

3rd Place: Even though we barely knew the guy, things were going pretty well until they weren't. Can't say I'll miss the overtly sensual close-talking between him and Emily, though.

Gabriel: The Neighbor

It may be considered controversial to put him at number two, since he's being set up for the long-game, but hear me out.

Gabriel and Emily first kiss after he saves her ass by opening his restaurant to Savoir and Randy Zimmer for a top-notch Parisian dinner. At this point, Emily doesn't know that Gabriel has a girlfriend, and after they kiss he still isn't overly interested. (I'm just sayin' what I'm seein'!)

The will-they won't-they continues throughout the season — we get a drunk make-out at a club — but for the most part we just get some jealousy from Gabriel towards the Guy du jour in Emily's life. Which is lame and unfair, considering he has a wonderful girlfriend, Camille.

Eventually, Emily and Gabriel sleep together the night before Gabriel is supposed to leave for Normandy, fulfilling the "will they" of the relationship. However, Camille is still in the picture (she's your friend, Emily!), so this guy is complicated as hell and Emily shouldn't mess with him until he's got his shit figured out.

2nd Place: Lest we forget, Emily is not someone who can share a crepe, and this guy is one big crepe. I also don't think Emily is someone who is in the business of stealing someone's crepe from their plate.

Emily loves pain au chocolat, which she has, waiting for her in St. Tropez. Which brings us to...

Mathieu Cadault: The Adult

Ah, the piece de resistance. Mathieu Cadault — or Matt as Emily calls him — is an adult. In fact, he's the only guy on this list who truly has his shit together.

Even though Camille hints that he's a bit of a playboy, always seen in French magazines dating celebrities, we don't really see that side of him. He's loyal to his uncle, Pierre Cadault, has a solid job as the head of business affairs for the fashion brand, lives in a killer apartment, and, so far, respects women. Where's the problem?

1st Place: Matt is a no-baggage love interest, one that Emily deserves. If there are skeletons in this guy's closet, you can bet that they're dressed to the nines.

So how will things shake out with Gabriel staying in Paris? Will Emily tell Camille that she slept with him? Will Emily meet Mathieu in St. Tropez? Time will tell, and until then, I leave you with this professional request.

Images: Netflix

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