I'd just be open with them - tell them that even though these books and beliefs have helped your friend a lot, it's not something you really follow and that you'd appreciate it if they didn't talk about it as much. 

If they continue? Well, then it's time to meet them at the Battlefield of Ideas. Do your research, map out why your friend's self help stuff isn't always correct, build counter-arguments, etc. Really go deep into how their logic is flawed. And then engage in conversation! 

Oooooh, I feel this way about business books. The number of people who read a "hot" one and determine that it is THE secret to being successful in the workplace... 

I find people also misuse the advice a lot too. Like, radical candor is one thing, but people have used that as an excuse to be mean. 

But I think, in your case, unless they're trying to convert others into a cult, just humor them and nod and smile. 

My friend was really into Marianne Williamson. Wouldn’t stop talking about her. Then MW ran for president and it seemed to validate my friend and she doubled down. 

I never said anything because I’m a wimp, but I hope for your sake none of your friend’s gurus run for office!

That’s tough bc on one side, it’s something your friend is passionate about and you want to be supportive of their passions. But DO I GET IT. I have a friend who is constantly talking astrology to me and it drives me bonkers! 

I’ve told her in the past “I love that you’re so into that. Not my thing at all, to be honest-but glad you find comfort in ___.” 

Say it enough and hopefully they’ll get the hint. 

I have a friend who’s… very well-versed in modern self help books. New agey, shamanic, semi-magical, “The Secret”-ish kinda stuff.

Now, i think those books are garbage. But thats not the problem i have with my friend. The problem is that they will NOT STOP TALKING ABOUT THIS STUFF.

Every conversation eventually turns to whatever tome they’re currently reading.

“Oh there are racists in the world? They just haven’t read [insert book].”

“Hmm, your abusive relative could really use [insert quasi-spiritual idea].”

Im just so, so, completely uninterested in these books. Listening to my friend talking about them is like listening to someone describe a dream they had. Sure its fascinating for them — but its boring as hell to me!

i know these ideas / books are very important to my friend but i truly do not want to hear about them anymore.

How to i gently, lovingly tell them to stop?

Friend is off the self-help deepend

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