Notes or no notes... speeches edition

I was at a wedding this weekend and it was lovely. However, I've started to notice a collective panic over the crowds' faces when they see whomever is giving a speech pull out notes. Is it bad to bring notes up for a speech? In my mind, I get it it. You want to organize your thoughts and reduce the risk of rambling. On the other hand, you're confirming to the attendees that they should get comfortable, this is gonna be a long one.

I think the flip side is no notes can very well (and usually does) equal chaos.

So what's the solution? Maybe just a little note card that has bullet points? - Bring up her soccer career. - Mention the couples' love of travel. And then, if it's taking a while, you can cut one of those anecdotes?