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Very Serious: My Loved Ones Speak of Peloton Instructors As If They're Friends!!!

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- Very Serious: An Advice Column By Kelly Conaboy -
Very Serious: My Loved Ones Speak of Peloton Instructors As If They're Friends!!!

Kelly Conaboy is writing an advice column for Dipp readers. It's going to be very serious. So serious, in fact, we named it Very Serious: An Advice Column by Kelly Conaboy. Just email her at kelly.conaboy@gmail.com with your most crucial conundrums and each week, Kelly will solve one lucky reader's biggest problem. You can read all of Kelly's excellent advice here.

Dear Kelly,

Help, my loved ones talk about Peloton instructors like they’re their friends, how do I handle this?

From,

Laura


Oh no, Laura.

Laura, I aim to do about 10 minutes of exercise per day. I often fail. I’m admitting this because I’m trying to put myself into the mindset of someone who has an exercise-based relationship with someone else — even if it is, as those critiquing rabid John Mulaney fans would say, a ”parasocial” one. I imagine it would be at least partially endorphin-fueled. People biking and getting endorphins while a hot person screams at them, or whatever it is Peleton instructors do. “YOU CAN DO IT! PUSH IT! RIDE THE BIKE! TODAY IS YOUR DAY!”

I suppose I can see how that might make you have a positive association with that person.

The exercise I do is primarily YouTube-based, and found after searching “10 minute easy cardio” or “10 minute cardio dance happy.” I generally dislike the YouTube exercise instructor ladies because I hate what they tell me to do (jumping jacks, etc.), but I dislike one of them in particular because at the end of the video she says, “Feel free to use this as a warmup for you workout, or to do the video again!” Okay … excuse me. This is my workout. You’re lucky I did it once. And I’m definitely not doing more after this. How about, “Good job finally doing 10 minutes of exercise for the first time this week!” How about, “Fantastic work, you completed the video you hated and only cheated during the burpees!”

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