Premium- Very Serious: An Advice Column By Kelly Conaboy -Very Serious: I'm Turning Into My Mother!!!!!
Kelly Conaboy is writing an advice column for Dipp readers. It's going to be very serious. So serious, in fact, we named it Very Serious: An Advice Column by Kelly Conaboy. Just email her at email@example.com your most crucial conundrums and each week, Kelly will solve one lucky reader's biggest problem. You can read all of Kelly's excellent advice here.
I’ve discovered that I have turned into my mother. She's a wonderful woman, but I have all of her bad things and none of her good! Do I disappear, or are there other things I could try before I do that?
Oh, Morgan. Please do not disappear. We love your visage, and I am personally suspicious of magic and all those who practice it. There are certainly things you can “try,” but before we talk about trying, let’s talk about this.
You love your mom and say that she’s a wonderful woman, even though you have intimate knowledge of everything about her that might not be perfect. Why are you preoccupied with having inherited her bad traits, traits that you yourself say measure disproportionately to her good? Do you not think that people, even people with intimate knowledge of all of your imperfections, might just feel the same way about you?
We always see what we hate about ourselves in other people, and we see it very loudly, and it absolutely will never shut up. We know this. Oh my god, this person is so socially awkward I can’t stand it, we say while being our socially awkward selves. Oh my god this person is such a gossip, we gossip to someone else. Oh my god this person never closes their mouth while chewing!, we say out loud while chewing. We think a lot about what we see as our personal failures and it is natural for us to immediately recognize them in someone else and project dislike for that reason. Other people, who don’t have these peccadillos, are probably not seeing these particular things as loudly. Maybe they’re thinking, Oh my god … this person Instagrams WAY too many photos of their baby, while they Instagram another photo of their dog.