Totally. What would happen if instead of this person "discovering" these things, you had a conversation about them? Named them and took the power away of "one day he'll find out..."?
Try to create containers. (I’m going to do an article or podcast episode on this soon *yes, I’m 99% starting a podcast*)
Ex: put 60 min on your calendars for XYZ topics, and do it. Put another container on your calendar for intimacy (can be physical or emotional/mental). Create containers for connection intentionally. You CAN do it. We often *have* the time, but don’t prioritize in alignment with what we truly want.
Citygirl84, this makes so much sense because we don’t learn HOW to communicate! Also, if someone takes off because of your needs/thoughts — whether that’s a partner, friend, or whoever — they’re not for you. <3
This sounds like a defense mechanism that you’re super aware of. What do you want to give your partner a chance for/around? Do you tend to think about the worst in all areas or more so relationally?
UGH I relate to this so much! I used to run a company with my partner and it got this way for a bit.
I just consulted with a company that’s coming out with a product that I think actually may be perfect for you. As soon as it’s ready to release, I’ll let you know. :)
Ugh, jln300, there is NOTHING wrong with you. Has your libido always been this level? Do you want it to be different? I want to help you either accept it, change it, or both! Xo
BreadPitt -- Thank you for bringing attention to this incredibly common and manipulative practice. Love bombing is a form of abuse -- and it can look different in every relationship because every relationship is different. I actually wrote an entire article on this for SHAPE: https://www.shape.com/lifestyle/sex-and-love/love-bombing
LMK if you have any follow-up Qs. I'll be here. <3
Thank you so much and I’m happy to share these things!
Folks often think that sex therapists are ONLY working with sex — which is not true. Typically a sexual or relationship “issue” is what gets folks to reach out, we work on a lot of the same things you would in “non-sex therapy.” For example, often, anxiety and past trauma can manifest into sexual ‘issues.’ So, we work on the anxiety and the past trauma — it’s not just sex ed everyday. :) And yes, I do go to therapy! Every week!
Totally. What would happen if instead of this person "discovering" these things, you had a conversation about them? Named them and took the power away of "one day he'll find out..."?
THIS. IS. SO. COMMON.
Try to create containers. (I’m going to do an article or podcast episode on this soon *yes, I’m 99% starting a podcast*)
Ex: put 60 min on your calendars for XYZ topics, and do it. Put another container on your calendar for intimacy (can be physical or emotional/mental). Create containers for connection intentionally. You CAN do it. We often *have* the time, but don’t prioritize in alignment with what we truly want.
LMK if that’s helpful or you want more! :)
BreadPitt - it sounds like you may be anxiously attached! Check this out and let me know if it helps or if you have any questions: https://thedipp.com/relationships/the-truth-about-attachment-styles-from-a-therapist
Citygirl84, this makes so much sense because we don’t learn HOW to communicate! Also, if someone takes off because of your needs/thoughts — whether that’s a partner, friend, or whoever — they’re not for you. <3
This sounds like a defense mechanism that you’re super aware of. What do you want to give your partner a chance for/around? Do you tend to think about the worst in all areas or more so relationally?
UGH I relate to this so much! I used to run a company with my partner and it got this way for a bit.
I just consulted with a company that’s coming out with a product that I think actually may be perfect for you. As soon as it’s ready to release, I’ll let you know. :)
Ugh, jln300, there is NOTHING wrong with you. Has your libido always been this level? Do you want it to be different? I want to help you either accept it, change it, or both! Xo
BreadPitt -- Thank you for bringing attention to this incredibly common and manipulative practice. Love bombing is a form of abuse -- and it can look different in every relationship because every relationship is different. I actually wrote an entire article on this for SHAPE: https://www.shape.com/lifestyle/sex-and-love/love-bombing
LMK if you have any follow-up Qs. I'll be here. <3
Hi Lynne!
Thank you so much and I’m happy to share these things!
Folks often think that sex therapists are ONLY working with sex — which is not true. Typically a sexual or relationship “issue” is what gets folks to reach out, we work on a lot of the same things you would in “non-sex therapy.” For example, often, anxiety and past trauma can manifest into sexual ‘issues.’ So, we work on the anxiety and the past trauma — it’s not just sex ed everyday. :) And yes, I do go to therapy! Every week!
Totally! With that awareness, give yourself the grace and try to flex this new muscle of asking for what you need!