For those of you who are unfamiliar, or have normal brains and don't like to watch severe trauma unfold over the course of eight episodes, Squid Game is a Korean Netflix series about a secret game show (created by bored billionaires, obvs), in which people fight to survive over the course of six competitions based on popular children's games.

In childhood, when you lost at Red Light Green Light or Tug of War, you might have gotten roasted by your classmates or felt a sense of embarrassment, but in the Squid Game universe, when you lose, you die, gruesomely, with a bunch of rich people watching.

When I watch shows or movies about death competitions like this (you should see my Netflix "For Liz" recommendations, I'm definitely on an FBI watch list), I always wonder how quickly I would die. The main characters are all somewhat normal people who have gotten involved in a really terrifying situation through a series of bad decisions, which for me, makes it pretty relatable.

When I picture myself there on the first day of the Squid Game, in my tracksuit and my little white Vans, what would I draw from my skills as a former waiter, a writer, and an executive assistant to help me survive? Would I just ask the Bored Billionaires if they need any PDFs converted to Word, and hope they'd let me off easy? Or maybe, "Well, Bored Billionaire, if you let me die in the first round, who's going to call your housekeeper to find out where your dry cleaning is?"