HBO's The White Lotus is not exactly an Agatha Christie story, but there's still a murder mystery at the core of this social satire. While you might be distracted by the out-of-touch guests at the Hawaiian resort, someone will die by the end of The White Lotus. And my money (which is very little compared to these people) is on one of the guests.
With two out of six episodes down in this miniseries, the only person that viewers know for sure isn't dead is Jake Lacy's Shane Patton. Which is kind of a shame since he's a huge jerk. But he's the only one of the most recent guests at the White Lotus who appears when the corpse is being loaded onto the plane from Hawaii in Episode 1, "Arrivals."
Because the corpse was being taken away from Hawaii, the dead person is most likely one of the visiting guests. And even if a dead employee's body might need to be sent home to family from the Aloha State, I'm leaving them out since who wants to see one of the suffering employees of the resort die? This is (mostly) satire about the privileged guests, leave the innocent employees out of the murder mystery plot! Focusing on the main group of tourists, let's examine who is most likely to die.
Rachel
The couple annoying Shane at the airport asked him where his wife is, so it's too obvious for the dead person to be Rachel, right? With the impending arrival of Shane's mom on their honeymoon, it's more likely that Alexandra Daddario's character has simply left him... perhaps to hitch a ride on that levitating RV with that YouTube influencer. But UniqueTourist42 on Reddit wrote a well-received theory that Shane's so fixated on that private plunge pool in the Pineapple Suite because he intended to kill his new wife in it, so she might not be so safe after all.
Tanya
Based on the Episode 3 preview, Shane might kill Jennifer Coolidge's Tanya for interrupting his romantic candlelit date on the charter boat. Even Belinda's healing hands wouldn't be able to save her from that. But it seems more plausible she'd drown trying to scatter her mother's ashes. Yet, since she seems to survive that too — and the woman is in mourning — let's say Tanya lives.
Mark
Steve Zahn's character just found out he wasn't dying of cancer, so what irony it would be if he, with his new lease on life and swollen balls, died. He did just sign up for scuba in shark-infested waters.
Nicole
Let Connie Britton live! That is all.
Olivia & Paula
These friends are pretty inseparable, so it seems they'd be in this death thing together. Well, except there is the fact that Paula is sneaking out with the employee Kai. But as one of the only guests to not be incredibly entitled, she should live. Unless, of course, Olivia kills her bestie out of jealously.
Quinn
The child is alone sleeping on the beach... a prime place to be murdered, even in paradise. Or maybe he's enjoying watching the whales swim so much, he goes out to join them and drowns. But would show creator Mike White be so cruel to kill a child? Let the boy eat his Aloha Nachos and play his Nintendo Switch in peace.
Kitty
Shane's mom hasn't arrived at the White Lotus just yet. But since he's all alone at the airport and she is guaranteed to be a privileged monster, she's a great candidate to die. Sorry, Molly Shannon!
Armond
OK, I know that Armond as the hotel manager is a member of the staff, but maybe his body was being sent back to Australia and there's been some warning signs for him. He's five years sober, so what if his bender on Paula and Olivia's drugs turns deadly? Or, maybe, Shane will kill him for not getting him into the Pineapple Suite. Or, he gets murdered for trespassing into the honeymooner's room as shown in the series preview. If he does survive, he'll get to deal with entitled guests another day. Lucky him.
Greg
Another character that viewers haven't officially met yet is Greg, a guest who ends up in bed with Tanya. In the season preview, Greg wakes up having a coughing fit, so his health may not be in stellar shape. It's just that with only four episodes left, he might not make big enough of a splash as the dead person.
The German Fuckers Who Have The Pineapple Suite
Will Shane or Kitty completely lose it and murder either the man or the woman of the German couple who has their room? Will Rachel murder one of them just to shut Shane up? Stay tuned as The White Lotus murder mystery saga continues.
Images: Mario Perez/HBO, HBO